A Crystal Tear
by pinkdogsarehappy1
Summary: Edward gets amnesia, and doesn't remember anything. The only vaguely familiar thing is the sound of Bella's voice. With Bella's help will he recover his memories? And more importantly, will he remember their relationship? ExB AU/AH
1. Chapter 1

**A Crystal Tear**

**Chapter 1: Amnesia (if that isn't obvious, i don't know what is...)**

**Disclaimer: I am superbly sorry to say that I, *insert dramatic breath intake here* am NOT Stephanie Meyer! Bet you didn't see THAT one coming!!**

Prologue

_Have you ever wished for someone to come along and sweep you off your feet? Someone so perfect, someone so indescribably beautiful, mysterious, but is somehow smitten with, none other than yourself? I never expected it. But it happened. Somehow through all the miscommunications, confusion, they say they love you. How did this happen? I honestly have no idea. All I know is that I feel the exactly same way. I know I couldn't go a day without being with them. And I know if I had to go through all the pa__in again, just to be with them, just to love them again, I'd do in an instant. You would go through it all, just for them to say those same words again._

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I woke up. Ow. Bright, white lights. I blinked a couple times, to adjust my eyes. I surveyed my surroundings. I was in an unfamiliar room. To my left, there was a young lady sitting there, probably 16 or 17. How did I get here? I tried to remember, but I couldn't. Well, I'd figure that out later. I wondered back to the girl, and who she was.

Studying her more closely now, I was a little surprised. At first glance, she seemed an ordinary girl, just a plain jane; dark brown hair, which was a little mussed up, pale skin. But now, to the right of the middle, I could see her luscious lips were marred, cracked, and scaring as if she bit them too much. Above her lips was a small petite nose, slightly upturned, pale like the rest of her. Her long, espresso eyelashes, rested on slightly purple shadows, but it probably just the lighting. I wondered what color her eyes were. Were they as subtely beautiful as the rest of her?

She looked so peaceful, --wait, not peaceful, there was a crease in her brow, even as she slept. What could bring her such unrestfulness? I sighed wondering. Her eyes fluttered open at the sound. Was she an angel? I couldn't, and definitely not in this state, understand how a mere someone might be able to have such... 'eyes' seemed like an insult. So ordinary, so common, so lackluster, was never which I would ever discredit those two deep, chocolate, brown pools to.

"Oh, Edward!" she cried and she flung herself onto me.

"Um..hi?" I said, unsure. I didn't understand her reaction. Were we.. friends? I don't believe I could have forgotten eyes, as cliched as it may be, as hers. She pulled back in confusion. I missed the angel's touch already.

"Edward, don't you know who I am?" she asked tentatively.

Why did she keep on calling me Edward? Was that my name? And why did that voice seem so familiar? Like I had known it my whole life? I searched within the depths of my memory, surprised to find nothing, no answers to any of my questions.

I knew then that something was wrong.

"Um, no, I'm sorry. Should I?" I answered, just as tentatively. I watched her, captivated.

Her eyes widened as she bit her lip, and her eyebrows creased. She slowly brought her hand to her to her mouth. Her eyes watered, and she began to shake slightly, as she looked at me, with an almost…horrified expression. I didn't understand what was wrong. And then I saw it.

A tear.

A beautiful crystal tear that rolled down her cheek, dropped from her chin, and landed on the bed. How I could I have made the angel cry?! Another tear rolled down her cheek, and I couldn't bear see it. I reached out and wiped it away with my thumb.

"What did I do?" I asked, not comprehending. She opened her beautiful mouth to say something, then closed it again, as if words had failed her, and simply shook her head. I hated seeing that I was the cause of her pain. The angel in front of me should never have to experience the pain it seemed she was going through right now.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, feeling broken. A man in a white suit, with a clipboard in hand, walked in right then, and saw me.

"Good, you're awake." He said. "Miss Swan, could I have a word alone with Edward?"

Swan. That was the angel's last name. It was elegant, just like her. I wondered what her first name was. Miss Swan nodded her head, and with one last sorrowful look at me, left the room.

With Miss Swan gone to capture my attention, I started looking around the room more closely. There was a curtain to my right, made of a filmsy shower-curtain type material. I looked up, and there, attached to the ceiling, was a rack the the curtain was connected to, that would surround the bed I was laying in, if drawn. Was I hospital? How could I be in hospital; there was nothing wrong with me! --Wait, there ..was something wrong with me, it was the cause of the Miss Swan's tears. I looked up at the man.

"Who are you? And.. what am I doing here? Why did that beautiful girl leave here crying?" His eyes widened for a second, but a look of…understanding crossed his them.

"I am Dr. Panacione. You are here because it seems that when you had a track meet," Hmm, that was interesting, I guess I liked to run, "you had a stroke as you walked up the bleachers to see your family, and when you fell, you hit you head. I'll will have to leave that last question though, unanswered, until I know more about your situation," he answered with.

"What do you mean 'my situation?'" I asked bewildered.

"When you fell, your brain was slightly damaged also," –What?! I had _brain _damage? Didn't these types of things only happen in movies?--"I am simply trying to find out what type of damage that is, and then I will answer all of your questions. Do you understand?" he said calmly.

"Yes…" I said warily. It seemed like a fair deal, but I wasn't completely convinced.

"What is your name?" he asked.

"Edward." He looked surprised, but wrote something down his clipboard, "But," I interjected, "when I spoke to the lady, she kept on calling me that, so I assumed." He nodded head.

"Thank you for clearing that up. What year is it?" I looked around, trying to find a clue, but I couldn't remember anything.

"I don't know." I said meekly. He wrote something down again. I may not know much about myself, but I knew I hated not knowing.

"What are your mother and father's names?" I closed my eyes, _willing_ the information that was evading me, to come forth.

"I don't know," I replied again, feeling defeated. He wrote another thing. My word, was all that scribbling really necessary?!

"Edward," he said as he took out a toothbrush, "This may seem awkward, but could you please brush your teeth? I need you to, to further diagnosis you." He came over and unhooked the various cords on me. I hadn't even noticed them. I took the toothbrush, and he watched me as I walked toward the sink in the room. I felt a little wobbly at first, but now it felt nice, stretching my legs out.

I looked at the toothbrush. How was I supposed to do this again? I looked at the doctor, and he said, "Most times, people put toothpaste on it, before brushing their teeth."

I spotted the toothpaste tube. It came out a little quickly, so I brushed off the excess, and rinsed my finger under cool water. It was a weird tingly sensation.

Well. My teeth are in my mouth, so I suppose that's where I put it. I bared my teeth, and set the toothbrush against them. I brushed once hesitantly, meaning to stop, but suddenly my hand knew what it was doing and started going off on it own. That felt nice. It felt as if it were getting off all the grime from, who knows how long I've been out. It went toward the back of the teeth brushing vigorously. Then, after going around my teeth once more, I spit out the foam in my mouth, turned on the tap, grabbed the cup that was near my hand, filled it with water, rinsed my mouth with then spit it back out, all almost automatically.

It was like my hand and my mind were two separate beings. But that felt good. I was going to make a point to brush my teeth whenever I could. I looked back at the doctor, and he nodded his head.

"I've narrowed down what specific brain damage--" _That's always nice to know, _I thought to myself, "-you have and you should sit down for this." He said. I looked at him suspiciously, but made my way back over to the bed.

"I'm afraid to say," he started out with, and I braced myself, for this could not be good if he started out with that apologetic voice tone and those words, "you have amnesia."

**A/N: so there we are. the first chapter in the life of edward with amnesia. tell me what you think! REVIEW!! ...you know you want to.. so don't hold back!**


	2. Hard to take in

**Chapter 2: Hard To Take In**

**Disclaimer:** Yes, I am once again, _dreadfully _sorry as to dissapoint you, if you were in fact looking for Mrs. Meyer. She would not happen to be here, and it might be a wise consideration to step away, if you are not expecting anything but her writing, as I am MERCILESSLY TOYING WITH HER CHARACTERS!!!!!!! Muahahahahahha!! ..

**A/N: Here is ze next chapter...i don't have anything else to say really...(amazing right?)**

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It felt as if my whole world just crashed onto me. But, of course, if I had amnesia, I didn't have any world, did I? And how could I even have amnesia, I suppose it made sense, but of all the things that could have happen to me, "not knowing anything, and remembering nothing", just _had _to be the symptoms of what I had.

"W-what?!" I exclaimed.

"I know this will be hard to take in, but at least your case of amnesia isn't the worst out there." I breathing shallowly, and shaking my head slightly, but he continued.

"You have Retrograde amnesia, so although you have lost your declarative memory, you have still retained your procedural memory. Which is to mean that although you can't remember facts like who you are, or where you are from, you _can_ remember the _procedure_ behind doing things, like riding a bike, or brushing you teeth." He looked down at his clipboard.

"It says here, you enjoy playing the piano, so for example, once you sit behind the piano, you should be able to pick it up almost immediately, to the level you were at before. Also, while you subconsciously know how to do things you've done before, the experience will probably feel like your first time doing them."

This was too much! I put my face in my hands. How could I possibly remember how to play the piano, but not even recognize my own family?! It was then, I remembered one of my first questions.

"Who was that girl, Miss Swan, you said her name was?" I asked. He looked pained.

"Bella, is her first name, and she is your girlfriend," my mouth dropped. Bella. That was my angel's name. It was beautiful, exactly how I would of thought her to be name. But my girlfriend? How could I have deserved someone so angelic? And even worse, how could I have hurt her by not remembering?

He continued, "She's been here everyday, as soon as she could get out of school, and slept over night on weekends." Unselfish. That was a word that came to mind, through all the chaos that was going on around it. It soothed me a little to know someone cared that much, even when I couldn't give them back anything in return. Let's just hope I hadn't ruined already. Then a thought occurred to me.

"How long have I been out?" I asked.

"You were in a coma for about a week."

"When will I get my memories back?" I asked again.

"That depends on entirely on your self, it could be days, weeks, or months. Once you check out, and start living life again, you'll have a weekly check-up. We'll see the progress you've made, and from there we'll be able to guess a more definite time span on the regaining of your memory."

Just then another man with blond hair, and kind eyes, in a white suit walked in, whom I could only assume was another doctor. I wondered why they needed two doctors for me.

"Hello, Dr. Cullen. I've just diagnosed him." Dr. Panacione said.

"Thank you, could I take it from here?" Dr. Cullen asked.

"Of course," Dr. Panacione replied with, nodding his head in respect. He handed the clipboard, and walked out of the room. After a moment of reading was written on the clipboard, he turned to me, his eyes, slightly unnervingly, full of kindness, compassion.

"Hello, I don't believe I have formally introduced myself. My name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Nice to meet you." He stuck out his hand. I shook it.

"Why.. did I need to switch doctors?" I asked curiously. Dr. Cullen took a deep breath. I wondered if, there was something else wrong with me, besides amnesia, of course.

"Well. Since there is no easier way of saying this, I will just have to be blunt. Your full name is Edward Anthony Cullen." He paused as the weight of his words fell on me, "You are my son."

I was silent. I couldn't think of that would make up, or be intelligent or insightful enough to say in this occasion.

"I'm sorry." I said finally, quietly, trying to make up for my memory.

"Don't worry, its perfectly understandable, after all, you did hit your head pretty hard." He said smiling, "The reason you had Dr. Panacione as your doctor to begin with, was so I wouldn't overwhelm you with the news of your diagnosis, and the fact that I was also your father." I nodded.

"Um..Dad?.." I didn't know if that was what I called him, but it seemed too formal to say "Dr. Cullen", "What happens now?"

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Bella…

I was waiting outside Edward's room right now. When the doctor had come in, it was all I could do, to keep from bursting out in tears, as I exited the room. How could Edward not remember me? _It's just a side affect of the stroke,_ a voice in my head told me repeatedly. But somehow I couldn't convince myself. What if I _was _so insignificant to his life, that with bump on the head, he could forget me? _That's not true either, and you know it,_ the little voice said.

My self-esteem had taken a big hit today --not that I had much to begin with-- with Edward not remembering me. I always knew it had been too good to be true, Edward feeling toward me, the way I felt toward him. I breathed out harshly.

I closed my eyes, and rested my head against the wall. I remembered the way Edward's thumb had felt when he gently brushed the second tear I couldn't hold in, away. It had sent sparks flying through my body, just like the first time we had touched. I shook my head in frustration. How could I still feel that way, when it was obvious he didn't even remember me, much less feel the same way? _You love him_, that's why, persistently annoying voice said. _What do you know about love?! _I retorted with, in my head of course.

I decided, maybe it would just be the best if I just left Edward, and everything that had happened between us, in the past. _You know you couldn't do that. _

_Shut up!!_ I yelled, and got up to leave. People looked at me strangely. _Oops_. Had I just said that out loud?

"Miss Swan?" a familiar voice asked. I turned around, and saw it was Dr. Panacione. Oh _great_, not only had I shouted out at the voice in my head, but also my boyfriend's doctor had just witnessed me do it. Just _great_. Peachy.

Then I backtracked on my train of thought. Was Edward still my boyfriend? I didn't know if that was possible, if he didn't remember me.

"Yes?" I simply replied politely.

"Would you like to know Edward's diagnosis?" he asked hesitantly, obviously still wary from my previous outburst.

"Yes, please."

"Well, he, simply put, has amnesia." He watched my face.

"What?!" I nearly exclaimed, disbelievingly.

"Please understand, him not recognizing you was not anything personal; he doesn't even remember his own father, or what year it is, or any facts like that." I just nodded my head, not trusting my voice.

"He does not have a problem with doing things, that have a procedure behind them, that he has already learned. For example, I tested him to see if he could brush his teeth, and he could. At first he was unsure, but quickly his brain took over, and he accomplished the task with no problem." He continued calmly. Then I realized something.

"Um, I have a question. It's kinda off topic, but not really." I said.

"Go on," he encouraged.

"Well, if you are out here with me now, who is in there with Edward?"

"Dr. Cullen. Didn't you see him go in?"

"Huh. I guessed, I was so preoccupied with Edward not remembering me, I didn't even notice," I admitted.

"Miss Swan, don't worry, it will be okay. He will remember." He smiled reassuringly, and then his pager went off. "Excuse me, I have to go take care of something now."

I nodded my head, and he left. I wondered what I was supposed to do now. Should I wait for him? Or would that just be really awkward for him, as well as me? And what would I do when I saw him. Introduce myself? That would probably break my heart.

No, I would just leave. Someone's bound to tell him we're together, or were together, and then he can decide how he wanted to approach the situation. I walked toward the exit that led to the lobby. From there I walked to by trusty red Chevy truck. All I wanted to do now was get home, and take a long, hot, soothing, shower.

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**A/N: heh he... did you like bella's point of view? its always so much easier to write, because the all the embarrassing things that have happen to her have... happened to me... at least once.. so please review, because it would just make me **_**sooo sooo **_**happy.... and... it might make me pump out the chapters faster...... yes that was a bribe......**

**- P to the D to the ahhh.... (my lame attempt to be cool...)**


	3. Says the snit

**Chapter 3: Says the Snit**

**Disclaimer: **This time I just going to tell it to you straight. I AM NOT STEPHENIE MEYER. Just not going to happen. Sorry folks.

**A/N: Hello my dear readers... sorry it took so long to get this up, but please forgive me since it is extra long!! I know there has only been three chapters, but this one was my favorite to write, and to reread... So warning: edward may seem a little OOC but i think most of edward's personality is because he has a reason for it in his past... so if you strip him of his past, then you are left with something a little different... so there... just explaining myself.. now enjoy reading what is definitely the long chapter i've ever written..**

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Edward…

I was sitting here in the room, waiting for Carlisle, or Dad, I suppose I should call him, to come back, so we could go home together. I still couldn't believe it. I was an _amnesiac_. I didn't remember _anything_. Well, that's not true, but the things dear to me, like Bella must be, and Carlisle, my own father, I had know idea about. How on earth was I going to face my family? I decided not to think about that right yet. Instead, I let my mind wander.

Bella.

What a beautiful name. What a beautiful girl. And those _eyes. _That chocolate brown color, who cared about drowning, I was amnesiac, and I just wanted to stare into them forever.

She never came back in. _I wonder if she's still waiting outside? _I tiptoed to the door, a looked out. I sighed.

She wasn't there.

I felt horrible I had hurt her feelings, but there hadn't been anything I could've done. And I hated it. If I hadn't had that _stroke, _if I hadn't gone and bumped my head, if I hadn't been so ignorant about everything, I wouldn't be in this situation, I wouldn't have hurt Bella, and I would probably be happy and in her arms, talking about whatever, possibly that fateful track meet, and maybe even being happy. But I did. And now, no matter how unfairly, I had to deal with it.

I walked back to the bed and lay down. I closed my eyes, and thought of how Carlisle had said the best ways to jog my memories, would be exposing myself to significant things from my past. I would get my memories back, even if it were just to keep from hurting Bella further. I never wanted to see that heart-wrenchingly sad expression, especially if I was the cause, on her face, again. The door opened, and Carlisle walked through, but this time, he wasn't wearing his doctor coat.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked? I took a deep breath.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I replied with a grim smile.

"Don't worry, I called them and they know about your situation, okay?" he smiled reassuringly. Even though his words didn't make me feel much better, the sincerity behind them did. I felt proud to have such a father.

"Dad?" I asked unsure, after we had reached the car. He smiled.

"Yes?" He asked back, as he started the car, and pulled out.

"I wouldn't suppose you would introduce me to them, right now, before I meet them, would you?"

"Of course. Well, to begin with, there is Esme. She is my wife, and your mother. She is an interior designer, as well as architect. She is by far," he paused as a loving smile crosed his face, "the most amazing woman I have ever met," That was good, they still seemed to be in love, "and you have two siblings, Alice and Emmet. They were both adopted."

"Was.. I adopted?" I asked. I needed to know.

"No, you were our little miracle. Somehow, we had you, before Esme got ovarian cancer. Luckily, the cancer was curable by surgery. But Esme, being Esme, the maternal woman she is, she wanted more children, even if they weren't born from her own womb." He smiled, "So we adopted Emmet and Alice, who are actually biological brother and sister, when he was around five, and when she was three, the same age as you."

"What do they look like?" I queried.

"Emmet," he laughed, "let's just say he has a big presence, both physically and personality wise. He's 18, has black curly hair, brown eyes, and is about two times the size of me." I looked Carlisle up and down when he said that. Carlisle was small by any means, probably an average size for a grown man. Emmet must be a giant.

"And..Alice, you said her name was?" I prodded.

"Alice, Alice, Alice. What she lacks in size, she makes up doubly in personality. She's about 4'10". She has black hair also, but bright blue eyes, and a really petite frame. She is very energetic, so if she starts assaulting you with too many questions, as she has been known to do, on many occasions, tell her to back off, and that it is not healthy for you, and that it could give you high post-traumatic stress. I will keep an eye on her though, as I remember you disliked displeasing your sister. That's one of the reasons I came home early," He smiled again at me, while changing lanes.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know I was keeping you from your work." I said guiltily.

"Edward! You are my son, who just woke up from a week-long coma! While that is not such a long time, compared to other cases I've seen, I still want to spend time with the son I haven't seen do so much as breathe steadily!" He said, in an almost exasperated voice. I got the feeling it didn't sound that way often.

"Sorry," I said meekly.

"No, no, I'm at fault here. I shouldn't get so carried away. I've watched this situation from the outside, simply as a doctor, but being on the reverse side, is just overwhelming for me. Not as overwhelming as it must be for you though, I'm sure." After that it was silent until Carlisle said, "We're almost there." And turned onto a dirt road, away from civilization.

I suddenly wondered if I was being kidnapped, and dismissed that thought, since Carlisle seemed too compassionate and caring for that type of thing. Instead, I tried to memorize the road we were taking to get to the house.

"We're here." Carlisle announced. I got out of the car, and the stopped in my tracks. _This_ where I lived!? It was an oversized mansion, with a huge front garden, and a brick walkway. Carlisle noticed my gaping.

"It wasn't always like this, you know, Esme fixed up basically everything", he smiled at me reassuringly, as he gestured to go start walking up the path to the house.

"Are you ready?" he asked once we got to the door.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I said again. He opened the, and my jaw dropped. The outside was nothing, compared to what the inside looked like. It was pale on pales, but it was so elegant that I could help but stare. I took a couple of more steps, and then out of nowhere, my waist being pulled tight by something small. I looked down as Carlisle reprimanded "Alice!" I could see the top of a small girl's head, with spiky black hair.

"Eddie! I missed you!!" Alice said.

Hmm. Something about what she said bugged me. I couldn't put my finger on it though. She backed away from, and I could see her more clearly. She was a very small girl, with bright sapphire blue eyes, but definitely around my around age. Carlisle was right about her energy. I tried to smile back, and act as if I wasn't slightly unnerved by a stranger embracing me.

"Do you remember me?" she asked as she took my hand and walked down a hall with me toward someplace. I closed my eyes hoping too remember her.

"No, I'm sorry." I said regretfully.

"Tsk, tsk, Edward. I'm disappointed in you." She said. I couldn't help but feel a little bad at her comment, even if she had meant it jokingly.

"Alice!" another unfamiliar female voice reprimanded as we turned the corner, "Don't say such things to Edward, after what he has gone through." I identified the voice to the face it was coming from. It was a lady with caramel colored hair, kind eyes, and a heart shaped face, in her mid-thirties speaking. I saw that we were in the kitchen now.

"Edward knows I'm just joking, Mother." Alice said with a wave of her hand. The lady came up to me.

"Hi, I'm Esme, your mother." She said smiling kindly. She stuck out her hand politely, but I could the mother in her eyes wanted to hold her son, so I pulled her into a hug.

"Oh, Edward." she said her voice cracking. She pulled back, and held my face in her hands, "I was so worried." She said with her eyes watering. She hugged me again, and I hugged her back, knowing that was what she needed.

"Hey, Ed", a loud voice bellowed. Aha! I finally figured out what bothered me when Alice had greeted me.

"Don't call me 'Ed', please." I said politely to the big mass of muscle, that I could only assume was Emmet.

"Hah! Even amnesia couldn't make my little brother forget he hated that nickname! Good to have you back bro," He pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. I stiffened slightly. I still couldn't get used to being so forward with strangers, even if they _were_ supposed to be family. Carlisle noticed my discomfort.

"Emmet, go easy on Edward. It is still only his first day back." He said. Emmet pulled away, while mussing up my hair with his hand.

"Um?" I said, swallowing, my voice an octave higher than usual, "Can I go to the bathroom for a moment?"

"Of course honey, here let me show your room, and you can rest there until dinner." Esme said, her voice full of understanding

She led me back to the foyer, and up the stairs, and then to her left down a hallway to the last door on her left.

"Here is your room. Just ask if you need anything, okay?" she said then left.

I opened my room, and then crashed on to my bed. I was so confused, I didn't know anyone, and I couldn't remember anything that had happened in my life. I didn't even know how old I was yet!

I ran a hand shakily through my hair, as a tear rolled down my cheek, and curved down to my lips. I stuck my tongue out, curious. It tasted salty. But it was kind of yummy. _See!_ This is what I meant. I didn't even know what _tears_ tasted like. Everything was so overwhelming, and unfamiliar, and I had only met my close family. I still must be in school, right? I thought about it. I knew Emmet was 5 when I was 3, and he was 18 now, so I must be 16. I would have to go to high school soon. How on _earth_ would I handle that?

I had the stroke at a track meet. That's a pretty public place. Everyone would be asking me questions. How would I answer their questions? Was I popular? Did I have many friends? More and more tears streamed down my face. What were my events for track? How would I remember everyone's name?! _I just need something to get me through, something familiar, someone that I could hold onto the whole bumpy ride._ But I had nothing, I thought, as strange noises kept on coming from my chest. I closed my eyes and thought back to when I had first woken up. I remembered Bella's voice.

I was wrong.

I did have something to hold onto; it was Bella. Her lovely voice was the only strangely familiar thing I had. I breathed out. I brought my hand to my mouth, and folded my knuckles. I need to talk with her. If I heard her voice, maybe, I could get through this strange nightmare. I looked at the nightstand next to my bed. I spotted a cell phone on it. If Bella was my girlfriend, then I _must_ her phone number. I picked it up and searched through my contacts. I found her name under the b's. I breathed out again, but this time in relief. I pressed 'talk' and waited for her to answer. She picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?" she said. I felt better at once, and even though I couldn't remember why, her voice still sounded familiar.

"Anyone there?" she tried again then she sighed.

"Bella," I said out of relief, but my voice sounded strangled and broken.

"E-Edward?" she asked, concerned.

"Oh, Bella, its horrible!" I started saying, my voice cracking, "I cant remember anything," I took in a deep staggered breath," or anyone, not even my own family. Everything is so new, and confusing, and unfamiliar." I said, my voice starting to choke up, and I was on the verge of tears now.

"But Edward? Isn't that the same way you feel toward me?" She asked confused, and seemed slightly upset.

"No!" I all but yelled with elation, "your beautiful voice is the only familiar thing I've heard since I woke up. I can't remember why, or know how, but it feels like I've known it forever."

"Oh, Edward, you can't imagine how that makes me feel." Bella said softly.

"I just, I just don't know how I will do this, or if I _can_ do this." I said feeling another round of hysteria coming on.

"Now, you listen here Edward, " her voice took on a commanding tone, "I know you. You are strong-willed, stubborn, and committed. You NEVER give up, and you never have for anything, so I don't see how you should let _amnesia_," she spat out the word, "affect that. You are still the same beautiful person inside," she finished quietly. My heart stopped. She thought I was beautiful.

"You can do this." She said softly, "I know it."

"Thank you," I said quietly, my voice still thick with emotion.

"I'm always here for you, okay?" she told me.

"Thank you" I said again, and I meant it.

Esme called up from downstairs. "Edwaaardd, time for diiiinner."

"Hey, I got to go wash up for dinner," I said, more in control of my voice.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later. Remember, I believe in you." She said.

"Okay, bye Bella," I loved saying her name.

"Bye Edward." she said quietly, and then I hung up. I loved the sound of my name from her voice even better.

I put down the phone, and opened both of the two other doors in my room, thinking there must be a bathroom behind one of them, in a house this big. I was right. I walked in and saw and toothbrush and toothpaste; I remembered how good it felt to brush my teeth earlier, so I decided to brush them again. After, my mouth felt minty fresh. I looked at my face, and it was kind of blotchy, and tight, and I remembered how the cool water had felt on my fingers. Maybe it would feel that way on my face too. I turned on the water, and turned it to the right since that's the side the blue was one. I bent down and splashed water on my face.

It _did_ feel good. I wiped my face on a nearby towel, and looked in the mirror. It seemed the cool water had helped with the redness. I walked back downstairs, while my face started to get uncomfortable tight.

Hmm. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to wash my face with cold water. When I got to the kitchen everyone was waiting. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Emmet started to walk toward the dinner table, but I had to stop them.

"Umm." I started with. They looked at me expectantly. What I had to ask was incredibly awkward, "Well, I rinsed my face with cold water, but now it feels really tight, and I don't remember how to fix it." I said shamefaced. Emmet burst out laughing, only fueling my embarrassment. Esme swatted him.

"Emmet! It's not nice to laugh at your brother like that, when he is truly confused. How would you feel if you woke up not knowing anyone, and not knowing how to fix simple problems?!" Emmet stopped laughing, and looked at me apologetically.

"It's okay," I said, but I cringed at the fact that I didn't know what to do to fix "simple things"

"Come dear, I'll show you some lotion." She said with caring smile. She brought me upstairs, back to my room, and showed me a bottle of Vaseline.

"Here, honey, give me your hand." She requested, as she pushed down on the nozzle, "Now rub your hands together and spread that on your face." My hands came together, and then I brought them to my face, and they started going on their own, rubbing in small circles. _Ahh. Much better. _

"Thank you…. Mother." Esme beamed at the title.

"Now let's get back down, before the food gets cold." She took my hand and led my downstairs. I may not remember her, but somehow she made me feel very safe. Maybe I hadn't given them a good enough chance.

Dinner had been good, but I couldn't truly enjoy my first time eating because of the minty flavor that had stayed in my mouth. Esme had noticed that I barely touched my food.

"Is it not good?" she asked.

"Oh, no it's quite good, but I brushed my teeth right before dinner, because I remembered how good it felt when I did it for the first time at the hospital. I didn't know the minty taste affected the taste of other that I ate afterward." I said sheepishly, but continued, "It really is good, I only wish I could enjoy it more." I smiled apologetically.

"Oh if that's the case then, then it's quite alright dear. To let you know, though, the same thing will happen if you eat you something sugary, then eat something not so much." she explained kindly. I nodded my head, thankful.

"Yeah, that happened to me once," Emmet started, "I really didn't want to eat the fruits on my plate, so before dinner I had sneaked eating a snicker bar, not knowing what would happen after, so when I actually had to eat the fruits, it was so much worse 'cause they weren't sweet at _all_." He laughed at himself, and smiled at me. It did make me feel a little better that he was trying to make my mistakes seem not so embarrassing.

"So Edward," Carlisle said changing the subject, "At the hospital, Dr. Panacione told you that you would be coming in for a weekly check up right?" I nodded, "Well usually accompanying the check-up, is therapy to help jog your memory." I creased my eyebrows, following, but not knowing where this was going, "Instead of going to the hospital for this therapy, we'll do it here, where surroundings will be more helpful. Esme and I have put together all the albums we have of you, and other things that might jog your memory." I nodded again, understanding, and a little relieved that I wouldn't have to go back to the hospital.

He continued, now addressing the rest of the table, "So, Alice, and Emmet, if you think or find anything that was significant to Edward's childhood, or life as of a week ago, please tell me, or show him on your own." He smiled back at me, "We will do everything we can to get your memory back," he said with conviction.

"Thank you." I said and I was grateful.

After that the conversation drifted to what was going on at school, and although it probably would have been wise to listen to what was said, I couldn't help but not care, as it didn't feel like it was my life they were talking about, just some stranger's, living in my body. After dinner was over, I offered to help clean the kitchen, but Esme said it wasn't needed, so I went back upstairs to my room.

When I went back in, I couldn't help but feel astounded by what I had missed so easily before. I looked straight across my room and was met with a wall-sized window. The view looked down on something, maybe a river, I thought I heard the sounds of gurgling water, as I opened the window slightly. I'd have to find out where I actually lived. It was funny how I still knew so little of my self.

Behind me, to the left of the door, was a strangely, slightly slanted wall, taking out what would have been the back-left corner of the room, was filled top to bottom, left to right, with CD's. _I must like music.._. The floor was covered in a thick, golden carpet, and the walls were painted in... what seemed to be a darker shade of the carpet. Of course, the bed matched. "The coverlet was a dull gold, just lighter than the walls; the frame was black and made of intricately patterned wrought iron. Scuplted metal roses wound in vines up the tall posts and formed a bowery lattice overhead"(p.150, Eclipse.) Wow. I didn't know who picked out all this... but they definitely had expensive taste.

I walked over to the CD's. I looked through them, and was amazed at all the seemingly different genres off music I liked. But as I looked, I wondered how I had organized them. It wasn't by band or album name. Hmmn. Maybe Alice or Emmet would know. I walked to my bed and lay back. My comforter was really comfortable. I closed my eyes, just to rest them for a moment. I guess I had fallen asleep because when I woke back up, the sky was still dark, but there was a slight tinge of blue. I got up to change into pajamas and opened the door that I had found out earlier was my closet, and walked in. I realized I had no idea where anything was, and instead of looking through everything and making a mess, I decided to just strip down and sleep in my boxers. It was cold on my body, and I hurried back to the bed to crawl in. I fell asleep soon after, thankfully, in a dreamless state.

-----------------

Bella…

When I got home, I ran up to the shower, thankfully not passing by Charlie; I didn't know how much more I could have handled. I let the water pound out everything that was flying through my head, my worries, my insecurities, even my hopes. I stepped out of the shower, and actually did feel relaxed.

But that ended when I walked into my room and saw the picture of Edward and me on the nightstand beside my bed. I sighed, and laid down, taking the frame in my hands. I loved the Edward in this picture. He looked so happy and carefree, with his head thrown back laughing. There were little crinkles around his eyes, and the sunlight was streaming through is hair, since it was on one of the few days in Forks that was sunny. He, of course, being Edward, seized the opportunity to take me out on a picnic. After we had eaten, his family had joined us, and Alice was the one who had taken the picture. The beautiful bronze color of his hair was glinting in the sun, and sticking out in every direction inhumanely possible. He never looked more perfect.

I looked down at myself in the picture. I was holding his hand with two fingers, and looking up at him with happiness, and love clearly in my eyes. I sighed. Would I still be able to look at him this way? Wouldn't that just freak him out, or even worse, scare him away? I put the frame back. I looked down at my real self. I was still in a towel; I should change.

I decided to wear some sweats, a cami, and put my still wet hair in a messy bun atop my head. I went back to the bathroom and hung my towel to dry, then returned and laid back down. What to do now? As if answering my question, the phone rang. I ran downstairs to get it, eager for anything to get my mind off of Edward.

"Hello?" I answered, out of breath.

"Hello, this is Carlisle, is this Bella?" the voice asked. Of _course_ would be _Edward's_ dad. I should have guessed with my luck.

"Yes," I said as I breathed out, and closed my eyes, "What can I do to help you?"

"Well Bella, I assume you've heard of Edward's amnesia." My breath caught, but I think I was grateful for him stating out, instead of dancing around the subject and calling it something vague like "situation".

"Umm, yeah. I kinda witnessed first hand," I tried to say nonchalantly, but my voice cracked in the last word.

"Oh, Bella, it will be alright, he will get his memories, and he will remember you," Carlisle said reassuringly, "I was actually calling to see if you could help me with that."

Now I was confused. He was supposed to be the doctor, how was I supposed to help him?

"What?"

"Well, to help jog his memory, could you gather some things that might have sentimental value to him, like pictures of you two together, or something he got you as a present? Reacquainting him to significant things from his past might help him remember."

"Oh, yeah, I would happy to do anything to help him." I said, and I meant more than just this situation. Carlisle obviously picked up what I was saying.

"Thanks Bella. And I know you would. It's a good thing Edward has someone like you." _Even if he doesn't even remember them_, I sarcastically added in my head.

"Umm, when could I see him?" I asked nervously.

"I don't know yet, Bella," he replied apologetically, "I'll have to see how he's doing first, but probably in a couple days." That hurt. I knew he meant well, but I could hear what he didn't want to say. That I'd stress out Edward with my presence, with him not remembering me, and with my strong feelings for him.

"Oh. Okay, just call when you're ready for me." I said, but I couldn't keep the hurt from entering my voice.

"I'm so sorry Bella." He said, and I could tell he really meant it. Sincerely.

"Don't worry," I said brushing it off, "Whatever's best for Edward." I tried to say lightly.

"I'm glad you understand. Well, I call you sometime in the next couple days to let you know what happens, and when to come."

"Sounds good," I said even though it sounded not good at all._ Selfish, selfish me, stop it! It's for Edward! _

"Talk to you then." I said then hung up. My head hurt again. I needed to rest. I trudged back upstairs to my room, to lay down for the third time in the past 10 minutes. I thought about what would be of sentimental value to Edward. I turned to my side. Well I guess the picture should come. It did not only have a nice story behind it, but it was proof that we were together. I wondered if I'd get the chance to be together with him again. Would ever really his memory back? With my luck, he'd probably remember everything, _except_ me.

I turned back onto my back. I sighed. That was no way to think. I had to think positively, to try in every way to help him remember. Doubting he'd ever remember me was not going to help him or me any. I really needed to relax. I leaned my head into my pillow and closed my eyes, and took a little nap.

--------------

"Contestant #2, what is the color of Edward's eyes?"

"Green," I replied.

"No!!" the man replied, nearly screeching, "They're _green_!! Get it right!"

"Oh..." I said confused, " didn't I say green?"

"No, you did not!" his face almost turned purple, before turning back to an eerily calm mask.

"What sport does Edward play?" the host asked.

"Track," I answered. But he just ignored me, until nearly a minute later, the girl next to me answered, "Doesn't he run or something?"

"Right you are, Contestant #4. 100 points for you." I looked down; I just realized I was standing on a little game show podium, with my score in red. -10,000. Wow.

"Contestant #3, is it true that Edward is with Contestant #2?" I nodded, but Contestant #3 just looked me over with disdain, and laughed. Harshly.

"Chh- uh, _no_." said Contestant #3 snickering.

"Corrrrrect!" the little host man said.

"Hey! That's not true!" I said, "We _are too_!"

"Hah! Only in your dreams," she said snidely, then she looked around, " Well, I guess, obviously not even there."

"Contestant #2, we are scrounging for the truth!" reprimanded the host, "Do not impurify the truth with your dirty little lies!"

"But we _are _together!! I'm not lying!" I swore.

"Says the snit who doesn't even know his eye color!! Halt! I will have no more of your dirty lies, DIRTY LIER!!"

"DIRTY LIER!" a voice called out. I looked out, and realized there was a big crowd in front of the stage me and the other contestants were suddenly on, "DIRTY LIER! DIRTY LIER! DIRTY LIER! DIRTY LIER!!!!" the crowd chanted

"B-b-but it's the truth!" I said stuttering. Then Edward appeared out of nowhere.

"Edward, thank god you're here, tell them we're together!" I said pleading. Edward regarded me coldly.

"And you _are_?" he asked haughtily.

"Why, why, I'm Bella. Your girlfriend." Edward laughed at that incredulously.

"Like _I_," he grandly gestured to himself with a hand, "would go out with an _ugly_, _stupid_ girl like you," he said, gesturing to me, and grimacing at the thought.

"But, b-but, I thought-" I stammered, unbelieving.

"You thought? How distasteful!" he said again wrinkling his nose, like he smelt something bad, "I happen to be with Contestant #3." And with that he walked over to her, scooped her up and began to kiss, lovingly, but also with big sloppy opened mouthed kisses.

"No..no.."I whispered, tears coming to my eyes, "It cant be true… you said.." Edward lifted his head up for a moment, and I regained hope for one, stupid, moment.

"Like I would _ever_ talk to you, I don't even _know_ you." He said cruelly, before ducking his head back down to make out with Contestant #3. I could feel my eyes watering, the tears just threatening to spill down my cheeks.

"no…no… it's not true.. it can't be…"my shaking voice said, barely audible.

"YOU LITTLE MISTRUTH GIVING WENCH!! LYING THIS WHOLE TIME!!! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!" the host bellowed.

"UGLY GIRL! STUPID GIRL! UGLY GIRL! STUPID GIRL!" the crowd chanted.

"You are WRONG!! You will always be a WRONG!!!" the host man said, as a buzzer went off in the distance. Somehow the host man seemed to gain a couple feet, since he was now towering over me. "You must DIE! Prepare for the buzz of DEATH!" the buzzer went off again, this time much more menacing, and closer.

"But I have to be with Edward!" I pleaded, sobbing out when the buzzer went off again, for the last time. "NOOOO!!!"

I sat up in my bed, breathing hard. It was just a dream. Just a dream. Even if Edward had forgotten me, he wouldn't honestly go out with Contestant # 3,… would he? Then I heard something buzz, and I jumped, there couldn't really be a buzz of DEATH,…Could there?

But then I laughed as I identified to source of the mysterious buzzing. It was my cell phone; I had gotten 1 new text. I opened my phone, and saw it was from Angela asking if I was doing okay. I wondered how she knew. But then I remember I had told her I'd call her when I got out of the hospital, and I hadn't. Well I wasn't in the mood to talk to her yet. I was just about to close my eyes again, when my phone rang in my hand. It scared me (again) and I almost dropped it onto my chest. My eyes widened as I saw who was calling.

Edward.

I rubbed my eyes. _I must be seeing things_. But no, it still said Edward. I flipped it open carefully, so as not to accidentally hang up, as I've been known to do…

"Hello?" I said, waiting for him to answer. "Anyone there?" I knew it was too good to be true. I sighed, and was about to hang up when I heard,

"Bella." My breath caught for a second. He said my name. But he sounded so, so, lonely, and broken.. I- I didn't know what to make of it.

"Edward?"

"Oh, Bella, its horrible!" he exclaimed; I was shocked. I had never heard Edward so,.. emotional. "I cant remember anything," he continued, as he took a deep unsteady breath, as if trying to find the will to continue, "or anyone, not even my own family. Everything is so new, and confusing, and unfamiliar." He sounded so confused, so sad, and uncomprehending; it broke my heart to hear him like this. But then I remembered my dream.

"But Edward? Isn't that the same way you feel toward me?" I was confused, why was he telling me, I couldn't help.

"No!" he yelled, and I jumped in my seat, but his voice, something in there sounded... happy? And wait, what did he mean by "no"?

"Your beautiful voice is the only familiar thing I've heard since I woke up. I can't remember why, or know how, but it feels like I've known it forever." I felt foolish now, for having such doubts on him. His memory somehow defied amnesia, and remembered, no matter how faintly, me.

"Oh, Edward, you can't imagine how that makes me feel." I said softly, I highly doubt he could, even without the memory loss.

"I just, I just don't know how I will do this, or if I can do this." He said, his voice got all quiet, and was getting really tense again, and so I did the only thing I could think of…What he always had done for me.

"Now you listen here Edward, " I commanded, and I almost giggled, it was so weird being on the pep-talk-giving side, "I know you. You are strong-willed, stubborn, and committed." I said with conviction, "You NEVER give up, and you never have for anything, so I don't see how you should let _amnesia_", I spat out the word, for truly hated it for pushing all this pain on my Edward, "affect that. You are still the same beautiful person inside." I finished quietly, a little embarrassed, at my last confession. I heard him intake sharply. Oops? Had I gone too far, and made him uncomfortable?

"You can do this." I changed the subject, "I know it."

"Thank you," he said quietly, but his voice was thick with emotion, and I could have sworn, there was love, somewhere in there.

"I'm always here for you, okay?" I told him. I wanted to make sure he knew.

"Thank you" he said again, and I could tell, like the first time, he meant it.

I heard someone voice in the background, but I couldn't hear what they were saying.

"Hey, I got to go wash up for dinner," he said, and his voce was in a much better state.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later. Remember, I believe in you." I said. I missed him already.

"Okay, bye Bella" I shivered involuntarily as he said my name. I couldn't believe how he still could affect me, by just saying my name.

"Bye Edward." I whispered, and then he was gone.

I went down stairs to start cooking dinner. It was a school night, and I didn't want to be up till late. I made a Greek salad with some chicken enchilada's… interesting combination, but what could I say, my feelings and my mind were all over the place, and I guess that reflected on my cooking. Charlie came home soon after I finished. I set the food on the table. Charlie looked at it skeptically, but said nothing, since he had learned to trust my cooking. He hung up his jacket and his gun, and sat down at the table.

"What is this?" he asked curious.

"Well, what you're poking is an enchilada, and across the table is a Greek salad." I answered.

"Oh..." he said

"Just eat it," He smiled, and nodded. I watched his expression. It turned thoughtful.

"Hmm... I like it." He looked up and smiled. "So how's Edward?" I choked on my water, regained my composure quickly, he chose _today_ all days to ask about Edward.

"Well, today he woke up from his coma." Charlie looked confused.

"That's a good thing right?" he confirmed.

"Of course, I mean it's much better than him just laying there breathing."

"But…" he prodded. Man, he wasn't usually this persistent.

"Well,.. He has amnesia, so he doesn't remember me." I blurted out quickly.

"Oh honey.." he said, but then he looked mad, "What do you mean 'he doesn't remember you'; he just _forgot_ you?!" Uh oh. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to tell him. I should've known he'd react like this.

"Dad, calm down, he doesn't even remember his own family, so it's not just me." I said.

"Doesn't matter! That no-good baby-girl stealing track star, had the _nerve_ to not remember you??!" he nearly shouted, and his face was getting purple. Charlie had never liked Edward, even though he had always been a perfect gentleman to my father, and to me for that matter. I think Charlie just had a problem with his "baby girl" getting a boyfriend. Yes, I may be a sophomore in high school, but Edward was my first boyfriend.

"Dad, it's actually a lot better than that! He called me after he got home and met his family, and he told me out of everyone he saw today, my voice was the only familiar thing he had heard!" I smiled at that; he always knew how to make me feel special, even as an amnesiac, "Doesn't that count for something?" His eyes widened just a little.

"Oh. Well. I guess that is different." I nodded my head then looked down. Dinner continued on, and we didn't talk much, but that was fine by me.

"Well, I'm going to watch some TV", he said when he finished. I smiled and nodded. I got up to do the dishes. I needed to call Ang, or else she was going to get worried. I finished up washing, and then headed toward the stairs.

"I'm going to do some homework and call Angela" He nodded, still looking at the TV. While I contemplated calling Angela before homework, or homework before Angela, Angela herself called.

"Bella?! Are you alright?" she asked concerned.

"Oh, yeah, I'm sorry I didn't text you back. I got… distracted." I said.

"Is everything with Edward alright?" she asked carefully.

"Yeah, he woke up from his coma today." I said, but I didn't sound happy. What was wrong me? He wakes up from a coma, remembers my voice, and I cant find it in my voice to be ?!

"Why don't you seem happy about that?" She asked, but I knew even if I dogded the question, she would let it go. That's what I liked about Ang, she wasn't all nosy and into your business, unlike some I knew. I knew she wouldn't push me into to telling her, so I answered truthfully.

"Well he has amnesia,"

She gasped, "What? My god, that's horrible!"

"I know, it truly is," I said regretfully, "but there is one good thing: even though he doesn't remember me, he remembers my voice."

"Honestly? My god, that Edward is.. amazing," she said in astonishment.

"I know, I don't know how he does it," I replied feeling the same, then sobered, "He doesn't remember his family at all either."

"It must be hard for them," she said sympathetically.

"Probably, but I think its harder for him. He called me earlier, right after you texted me, actually."

"Really? That's good, but Edward's a good guy, he shouldn't have to go through this." She said sympathetically.

"I agree. It hurt to hear him like that," I said quietly.

"Oh, Bella, it'll be alright, you and Edward are two of the best people I know. If anyone can make it through this, its you two." She said confidently.

"Thanks. Listen, you wont tell anyone about this, right? Like, even if Jessica asks if you know anything about Edward, can you just lie for me? I don't want everyone gossiping about it, until the latest possible." I said.

"Of course. For you, I'll lie," she said, I could tell she was smiling.

"Thanks." I said rest assured, Angela was a woman true to her word, well unless she was talking to Jessica in the next few days, but you get what I mean. She wasn't an avid gossip, and she was loyal to your secrets, or what you wanted to keep secret, "I have to go do my homework… it's kind of piled up this past week. Edward has made me a procrastinator!" I said with mock horror.

"Oh, heaven forbid you become that." She said, laughing softly, "See tomorrow then."

"See ya." I said then hung up.

I really did have a lot of homework to do. After school, I had been staying at the hospital, until I had to go home to make dinner for Charlie. I had been doing only the assignments that were due the next day, which didn't help my state of exhaustion, especially when I had a report. I had an English report due on Monday, so I'd do that on Saturday or Sunday, but I had 2 pages of math, and had to study for a make-up test in biology tomorrow. Biology was one of my best subjects too, it was almost laughable that I actually had to take a make-up test for it.

I guess I was so distracted without my usual lab partner, that I couldn't think straight. I studied for an hour, till I was sure I knew all of the content, forward and backwards, and upside down. Then I ventured on to my math homework, which took me a little more time, since it wasn't one of my strongest subjects.

I finally finished…I was really drained.. so much had happened today. I yawned, and then went to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

"Night, Dad." I called down the stairs, after I finished brushing my teeth.

"Night, Bella," he called back.

I went back to my room, crawled under the covers and the second my head hit the pillow, I was out like a lamp.

* * *

**A/N: so what did you think of E and B's phone call? i liked it, but i think my favorite was bella dream.. Now all you anonymous readers feel free to review!! -scratch that, you MUST review!! i went through all the trouble ('kay fine it wasn't **_**that **_**much trouble, just a click BUT STILL) of lifting the thing on my stories that prevents "visitors" from reviewing, so the least you could do is REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!...please?**

**-PDAH!**


	4. Drowning in the Perils of Syrup

**Chapter 4: Drowning in the Perils of Syrup **

**Disclaimer:** Ho Hum, and I am back AGAIN!! I am stealing Mrs. Meyer characters for ANOTHER exciting anecdote!! (while giving all credit of the characters to the ever lovely Missus Meyer –wait. That wouldn't be stealing, now would it? AWW SCREW IT THEN. No stealage here. STEALING IS OVERRATED ANYWAY.)

**AN: i finally finished this chapter! i know i haven't updated in a while, but i do have a legit excuse, and if you would like to know, just go to chap. 8 of my other fic **_**pieces of him**_**. (POH if you will..) i SWEAR i haven't just been slacking off! the second i posted the last chapter in POH (sorry that's just too funny) i started working back on this! so i hope this chapter isn't too boring, while with sadly no bella action, he does re-experience things, and i think his reactions are so darn funny. SOO anyway, read on my lovelies!**

**~-~pdah~-~**

* * *

Edward. . .

I woke up. It was blinding. Everything was shining from the sun. I got this strange sense of deja vu. Then I remembered why. The cruel thing about it all, was that everything I _couldn't_ remember came crashing down on me. I found my self wishing for that post-partying remembrance where everything you stupidly did before, becomes clear in the morning. I think there is actually a term for it, deja_brew_.

There was no recollection of any of my past, good, or bad. I was just about as ignorant about myself as I had been when I first awoke, minus the dejected feelings. I closed my and buried my head underneath the covers, trying to get back into a state of unconsciousness.

I was not going back to sleep.

I could not escape reality.

I sighed then threw the covers off, being promptly blinded again by the brightness of everything. I was _really_ going to have to do something about all this.._gold_.. All this reflected light was getting to me, and I really did not need the handicap of being visually impaired to add to my problems.

Then the cold hit me. Brr. I was still only in my boxers, and it was _freezing_. It was sunny out. Why was it so cold? I looked out and saw a river across a forest. I could see mountains, and I wondered where exactly we lived again, for the mountains seemed so close. Probably somewhere in the northwest, if it was this cold. I got up to look around in my closet. I was actually really nervous. I didn't know what I would see. What if I wore those stupid baggy, just-about-to-fall-off-your-rear pants, or untasteful 'Real men wear pink' T-shirts. It's not that I had anything against the sentiment, or thought otherwise, but the baggy untasteful way I saw them mostly worn, and design of the shirts was not one I particularly liked.

I walked in and was relived to see many of polos and button-downs, and dark jeans and dress pants. I sighed out in relief. I started to dress and put on the first shirt my hand found, and put on some jeans. It was slightly unnerving looking through supposedly _my_ clothes and not knowing what to expect. I didn't know what to do next. I would have brushed my teeth, but I didn't know if I would be eating again anytime soon, so I went downstairs to see what was happening.

They were family right? They would probably have some idea as to what to do. I walked downstairs, and thankfully did not get lost, as I heard the sound of TV, and a sizzling something somewhere, near. I walked I walked down the hallway into the kitchen and saw Esme frying some bacon, and pancakes, and at the counter were Alice and Emmet, the latter shoveling food into his mouth, the former chatting animatedly with Esme, with their backs to me. Carlisle was in the living room reading a newspaper. Esme noticed me and smiled.

"Good morning, Edward." Emmet twisted his body around too look at me.

"He's _finally_ up. I thought he was _dead_ or something." Esme shot him a stern look.

"Don't say such things, as if you believe they would happen!" She reprimanded sharply. I didn't understand why she was getting so worked up, but then I remembered I had just gotten out of a week-long coma. Emmet obviously realized at the same time as me, and opened his mouth to apologize, but I cut him off.

"It's not like you look like you got up much earlier than me," He looked like he had literally just tumbled out of bed and into the kitchen, "So what's the big deal?" I said back playfully, to let him know I wasn't upset, and that there was not reason to apologize at all.

"Well for _me_, waking up around 11, 12, is normal, but _you?_ For you it's a rare occurrence. You are usually up at the butt crack of dawn with the Alice Monster." He smirked, then stuck his hand on top of said Alice's head, and mussed up her hair. Not a second later we were all affronted with the sight of Emmet on the ground, lying on his back, groaning.

"And _that's_ what you get for messing up my hair," Alice said, stepping down from the stool and over him. She casually skipped over to me, and said, "Morning Edward" sweetly, kissed me on the cheek, then continued on to join Carlisle in the living room. I looked behind at her retreating form.

For someone so small she was _scary_. My head whipped back around to Emmet, who was getting up, and rumbled out, "I'm gonna get you Alice." Alice just waved her hand half-heartedly over her shoulder, and Emmet chuckled. "Thats my girl," I heard him mumble. I turned back to him.

"How did she do that?" I asked in disbelief, "She's so _small_, and you are so _big_." Emmet grinned at me.

"That, my brother, is one of the many mysteries of Lady Alice," he pressed his lips together at the way I shook my head in disbelief, then laughed again, "I know, she takes some getting used to, but I love the squirt all the same." I was about to nod to seem like agreeing, but this strange noise emitted from my lower torso.

I looked down, _Was there something_ inside _of me? What else would make such a sound? It felt a little peculiar too... _Emmet saw my terrified expression, and laughed once more. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, then with the other, mussing up my hair, and saying, still laughing, "Oh, Eddie, its nothing to worry about; that's only your stomach growling." I still felt a little skeptical, but it made sense. I knew the Greeks even had a name for the growling, borborygmi. I smiled as I thought of how the Greeks had come up with the word by simply trying to imitate the sound made by the rumbling. Esme spoke up, "How about I make you something? How do hash browns, bacon, and pancakes sound?"

"Um. I don't really know how they taste, but they sound good?" I said hopefully. Esme smiled.

"Don't worry, I know you'll like them; they are one of your favorites." Huh. Good to know I guess. I watched Esme as she started seasoning the potatoes that were already in the grill pan, and mixing the potatoes every which way, before letting them sit, and then putting some pancake batter in medium sized circles onto a gridle, and let it expand and puff. As she waited a little, she looked up at me and smiled warmly.

"Here, let me get you something to drink. How about Pi-" Esme started, but was cut off by Emmet quickly saying "-Orange Juice!" Esme laughed and nodded her head, turning to the refrigerator to get a glass and the carton.

I looked at them in confusion. What was that all about? She set the glass down in front of me and poured that juice halfway. Going back to tend my pancakes, she nudged at the sides, and flipping them over with the spatula. After that task was finished, she bent down and opened a cupboard to the side of the sink. When she came back up, another pan was in her hand. She put it on top of the stove, wiping it clean of any dust that might have settled on it, then moved back to stirring the potatoes, and adding a little seasoning where she thought necessary.

Gingerly taking the pre-cut bacon, she set them in the empty pan that had been just taken out, then turned up the heat. She quickly went back to the griddle and checked to see if the pancakes were ready. Satisfied, I think she was because she switched off the heat, and turned back to the bacon, turning it over just as one side was getting perfectly crisp. She stirred the potatoes once more before trying one, and deciding it was ready. Then cutting of the heat on everything, she then took out plates.

"Wow. That was amazing." I said in awe of her performance. I had never seen such riveting cooking. Then again, I had never seen any cooking to begin with. Esme and Emmet laughed.

"Was it now? I never think my cooking is anything that special." Esme said.

"Oh, but it was! It was the most fascinating thing I have ever witnessed!" I exclaimed. Emmet was howling by now.

"S-says the amnesiac...,"he got out between breaths. I stuck out my tongue, feeling happy and playful, and actually not at all in denial about what he said.

"Well, wait till you try it, to tell me how your thoughts on my cooking are," said Esme. My eyes widened as I realized this.

"You mean I get to it also?!" I asked excitedly. I honestly hadn't thought of I knew she was cooking me, I forgot, didn't really think about the fact that I would be eating what she cooked too.

"Y-you know," Emmet got out between guffaws. He was now, nearly falling off the stool he was sitting on, in the effort of trying to stay on, with his laughter shaking his body, "I d-don't think I realized," he broke off in another fit of laughter, "h-h-how much I missed you t-till now." Esme just shook her head at him, smiling at me. She brought the plate, well plates, there were two, around and set them in front of us. I looked at where the second plate was placed. In front of Emmet.

"Are you honestly going to eat _more_? Weren't you stuffing your face when I came _in_?" Emmet shrugged and looked back at me and said, "Hey, I'm a growing boy, I gotsa kept up the nutrition," before turning back to his food and digging in. I looked back down at my own food. A delicious smell was wafting up from the plate, and I felt my stomach grumbling again. I smiled. Now that I knew what it was it was kind of a fun feeling to experience. Esme looked at me worriedly.

"Does it not look good?"

"Oh, no, it looks absolutely wonderful. I am actually just enjoying the feeling of my tummy grumbling."

"Ah, I see," she nodded, "I, myself, like feeling every once in a while." she said smiling.

I took the knife and fork in my hand, and cut a slice of the pancake like I had cut last night. Spearing the slice with my fork, I gently set it in my mouth, closing my teeth around the fork and pulling back out. I chewed down on the pancake slowly, I noticed how it felt like my jaw was stretching in rotation. I brought my hands up to my temple. It was moving too. I faster. It pumped in more furiously under my fingertips. I tilted my head back, and swallowed. It was a funny feeling. I could feel it going down my throat. I counted to ten. Hmm. It was in my stomach now.

But swallowing kind of hurt, having to actually push it down my throat, and it felt kind of scratchy. I spied my orange juice. _That might help with the scratchy dry feeling..._Taking abig gulp, the liquid followed my pancakes to their previous destination. It felt as if it were revitalizing my body from the inside out. But it was all over too soon. I another big gulp, but this time the sensation was only about half as much there. I guess it only happened like that the first time. Then I realized that I didn't even remember how the pancakes tasted like.

I cut another slice, and chewed more slowly this time savoring the taste. It was fantastic. I couldn't really think of any foods to describe it by, since the only food I had ever tasted had been my dinner last night, and 'tomato-y' or 'pastafull' didn't really fit the bill right now. I wondered why I wasn't as enraptured with the eating of food last night, as I was right now. Maybe it was just because I was so concentrated on eating enough food as to be polite, with that nasty extra minty flavor of toothpaste marring my potentially delicious food. I really liked the pancakes though. They were nice and simple, without any sugar, butter, or syrup, unlike Emmet who had practically drowned the poor things with the amount of butter and syrup he had slathered on there. How could that even be _appetizing_? It looked positively revolting. I swallowed. It felt better this time.

I looked down back down at my plate. I still had bacon and hashed brows to try out. Going with the bacon, I tried to stick it on my fork. My eyebrows bunched in frustration when cutting it the short way didn't work, but I figured out that slicing down the middle, then bunching it up on my fork, got it moderately bite-sizable. I took a bite. It was good, but almost a bit too greasy for me. I didn't really like the crunchiness of the bacon, but I did like the flavor. Swallowing once again, I moved on to the hash browns. I speared a couple onto my forks and stuck it in my chewing. Savoring the tastiness of the seasoning, I swirled my tongue around. I stuck on a couple more bites in to eat.

I looked up and swallowed; Esme was looking at me with a hint of smile on her lips as sipped some steaming drink. I smiled sheepishly at her; she must have seen the whole thing. I looked back over to my side to see if Emmet had been watching me, but no, he was still utterly, devoutly involved with his consuming food. Which was almost all the way gone. I looked down at my plate. I had only gotten about five bites.

"Well Edward, what would you like to do today?" Esme asked, once I had accepted the fact that Emmet was an eating monster, he'd probably eat a whole grizzly bear, while I went back to eating the pancakes.

"I would like to know what today is first of all." I said, my voice a little muffled by the food, and only slightly joking.

"Saturday," Carlisle answered coming back in from the living.

"And are Emmet and Alice still going to school on Monday?" I asked, "Or are we on some kind of break?"

"Yes they are going to school tomorrow, but- "

"I want to go." I cut in. Esme looked a little surprised and worried.

"Edward, honey, you don't need to feel rushed, pressured into going too. We talked to the school, and they know about your condition, and they said to come once your are ready." said Esme, more of that worry for me crawling into her voice.

"You asked me earlier what I want to do today?" I asked, reconfirming her earlier question.

"Yes...?" she asked, unsure where this was going since, I wasn't about to ask to go to school today.

"Well, what I want to do is remember. If that means going to school, then I will go to school as soon as I am allowed." I said firmly. Esme looked a little taken aback, and still a little worried.

"Are you sure Edward?" she said again, "We can always wait till next week, you -." Carlisle cut in then.

"Esme, dear," He said, laying a hand on her back, "If Edward wants to go to school on Monday, then he will. It seems as he's already decided on it, and you know our Edward, once decided there is simply no talking him out of anything." Esme looked up at him and smiled, then turned her gaze back at me.

"That's our son," she said still smiling affectionately. I felt slightly uncomfortable with both of them looking at me like that, not because it was creepy, but because I couldn't honestly look back at them like that, so I looked down, and filled my mouth with a couple bites.

"How about for today," Carlisle started with, "We just let you get used to things?" I shook my head. I thought I would just get bored. He smiled.

"I thought you would say that. But hey, can't a father try to get a son to have a relaxing day of nothing?"

"Honey, you are just as bad he is," said Esme, swatting his arm.

"Okay, I admit this true," He nodded his head in mock regret, "So how about this instead? We'll show you some of your hobbies, show you the piano, the Volvo, things like that, so at least it your day should be a little relaxing, then tomorrow we'll get to the more serious things like photos-"

"Oh yeah, photos are _really_ hardcore," a smirking Emmet said. I had totally forgotten he was there, which I would have thought before, would have been impossible as he had been shoveling. The food, that is.

"I am not saying the photos themselves will be hard to understand, but the possibility of not remembering what happened behind the photo, is great, so it might be a little more than a bit frustrating," explained Carlisle. Carlisle seemed to always know everything; what was right, or wrong, or uncomfortable, or tiring. But then again, he was a doctor.

"Why aren't you at the hospital right now?" I asked. I thought doctors had very demanding shifts, and they usually didn't have much time to lounge around house in the late morning.

"Because I don't need to come in until the afternoon, unless something very urgent and life-threatening comes up, and because I wanted to make sure you were all right on your first morning at your home. Or at least, where your home will hopefully become." he finished with a rueful smile. I opened my mouth to apologize, even though I didn't know exactly how, or what to apologize for, but he continued, cutting me off.

"So lets get you started on your hobbies, piano or Volvo first?" he asked .

"Um. I don't know if it would be exactly safe to drive so early in waking up to life, so I think I'll go with the piano." He chuckled at that, then turned to Esme.

"Well then, my dear, please show the boy to the piano room," he looked down at his watch, "And I need to go soon, so I will see you all this evening." He kissed Esme's cheek then headed out.

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I was speechless. The piano was beautiful. I can't very well verify this statement by saying it was the most luxurious instrument I had ever seen as I hadn't ever seen another instrument to begin with. I crept toward it carefully, afraid if I were to surprise this image, it should go away. I got to the the bench and lifted the midnight black keyboard cover to reveal the ebony and ivory keys. Slowly, I let one finger press down on three separate keys. C Minor. Somehow I knew that was the chord. I changed the position of my fingers and tried it again. The second the hammers hit the strings, I knew I had played E Major 7th.

"It's all coming back to you now isn't?" I jumped, and span back around;I had forgotten Esme was still there.

"I only remembered that the chord I just played was E Major 7th, and before that was C Minor. I just heard the sound and knew." Esme smiled, but sighed.

"If only real life could be that easy." she said wistfully. I nodded in agreement, "Well, I let you get back to your piano, but first let me show you some music books that you can try out if you like," she walked over to a antique mahogany cabinet, and took out some worn music books.

"Now here were your favorites, but feel free to use any," she turned back to the cabinet, "Oh, and here's a piano lesson book, just in case you need help reading the notes or are stumped on a chord." Handing over the books, she started to walk out, but said over her shoulder, "Stay here as long as you need, but if you get hungry or need any thing just holler," then laughing she added, her voice fading,

"Just let all the pent-up music flow through your fingers like it always does..."

I sat down on the piano bench, picked up the most worn book, and opened it to a random page. It was in the middle of a piece, so I flipped back a couple pages.

I looked at it.

I blinked.

I looked at it again.

I pressed down a key.

Nothing was happening.

I sighed.

I guess I was going to have to start from a little easier level. Chopin _was _supposed to be pretty difficult. I grudgingly closed the book, set it down, then opened the the _lesson book._ I sniffed at the thought, feeling , somehow, somewhat insulted that I would actually have to use the thing.

I skimmed through the first pages, almost immediately relearning and re-memorizing everything, and I got through most of the scales. Then I was onto the the bigger things like using both hands, and chords, and actual songs. I had to start easy (again) because I was having a little trouble reading the music as quickly as I could play it. In the next hours though, I was almost all the way through the book and I could start to feel it.

There was this energy I could feel slowly bubbling up from my toes, inching forward to my fingers, with every note I got better at playing. I decided I had been good and studied enough, so I opened up a song book, that looked a little more used, but not all too difficult. I tried playing some of the songs that were from there, but once I got the hang of whatever song I was playing, the _energy_ would advance closer and closer, and then I was going off at on my own, totally diregarding the piece I was supposed to be following. I didn't enjoy slaughtering the composition that was carefully composed by the composer, so I shut the book again.

I laid my finger back down gently on the keys and closed my eyes. I could feel it coming back, gradually moving back up my body. I played a simple scale to help it along, adding rifts and transitions into other scales. It was coming nearer, so I pushed on more urgently, adding my left hand, threading in more intricate harmonies. I left my hands wander up and down the board, crawling under and over each other when they met. I shut my eyes tighter, trying to let the feel of my fingers sliding over the ivory keys take over me. It reminded me of Bella's ivory colored skin and that was it. My fingers were ablaze trying to capture the disorientation I was currently going through. I let all my confusion, my anger, my hopelessness, at my current predicament out in the hard, fast notes I was playing.

I still didn't understand why I had to go through this. Had I done something so terribly wrong before that I needed to be punished by my losing of memory? I couldn't comprehend how that would work since I wouldn't know how to right my wrongs. My notes grew a little lighter, not clipped, but more contemplative. I thought, not for the first time, and definitely not the last, if I would ever actually get through this. Would I really ever be the same as... before? I thought of Bella's horrified face when I hadn't remembered her.

Yes, yes I would. I would remember not only for my angel, but for my self. I could do this, couldn't I? Here I was I fucking composing... well something, I'm not exactly sure if you could call this banging around music, and I didn't think I could get my darn memories back? I would just have to do my best. My hands stopped abruptly. I just felt as if I couldn't go on. No, not in that melodramatic way, but simply that I had no more to think about.

I stood up from the bench, and walked around. I noticed there was a sandwich, some fruit, and a drink on a tray on the ground. Esme must have brought it. I hadn't even heard her come in. I picked up the juice and gulped it down; I was thirsty. I looked at the clock. It was already 4 o'clock...

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**A/N: doncha just love alice? i know i do. i hope describation of edward and piano was adequate enough, and believable, since i have no idea how to play the piano.. BUT I CAN PLAY THE VIOLIN, so i'm not totally out in over my head. sooo REVIEW!!! .... REVIEW!!!!............REVIEW!!!! ... come on! for edward!! if you review i might help him along faster!! (yes that was a bribe)**

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	5. Red Stoplight EVILS

Chapter 5: Red Stoplight EVILS

**Disclaimer:** *is not Stephenie Meyer* *is not owning any of Twilight*

**A/N: really not much to --WAIT!!! i edited chapter 3. i kind of got mixed up on what day it was, because it was IMPLIED to be thursday or friday, but carlisle said it was saturday! so go read the last paragraph of chap. 3 to know what REALLY happened! I apologize for the shortness of THIS, but with this one i did try to get out earlier than the last one, so i hope that makes you happy:)**

**NOW READ AND ENJOY!**

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Bella...

Carlisle still hadn't called. I was getting worried. What if something happened? What if Edward had gotten hurt? Or done something unsafe without having any prior experience to know better? What if he had gone to cross the street but didn't know that red meant stop, and crossed the street and had gotten hit by a car?

I took a deep breath._ Bella, you are getting ahead of your self. Edward is just fine. Carlisle is just a busy doctor, he just hasn't had the chance to call you yet. And there aren't any streets or cross walks around Edward's house to begin with. . . . I wonder if I could get hurt, and land myself in the ER and by chance run into Carlisle?.. _I shook my head. I really had to stop now. Because now the _voice in my head_ was getting ahead of itself.

I looked down at myself. I was sitting down, and the wet laundry I was in the process of putting in the dryer, was seeping through my pajamas, getting my legs wet. I hurried up and stuffed the rest of the clothes into the dryer without bothering to shake out the excess water from the clothes. I put in the next batch of clothes, setting the washer on 'cold wash', since I really didn't need my dark clothes shrinking on me now. All I could think about was Edward.

Edward. Edward.

I guess it was pretty pathetic. I never listened to what people said about us together before, but now with the possibility of him not remembering, 'pathetic' seemed like a pretty apt adjective to describe myself. I really needed to get a grip. But would I? Probably not until Edward got his memory back.

I stood up and went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and saw the same hollow cheekbones, and sunken eyes with that distant expression that I had had for the past week. So my not-so-attractive appearance did not surprise me. I tapped my fingers down on the sink looking for something to do. Looking down, I saw the tube of unopened lipgloss Alice had given me on Wednesday when she said, or more like commanded that I "get with it" about Edward. She said _he_ was her brother and that _I _was taking it more badly than _her_. Well _of course _that was the case! Alice took on everything with a smile of sheer confidence and a sense of mission.

The lipgloss said 'Shinylicious' in white letters across the tube, and on the back it said 'Melon Ball' in small letters. I peeled off the plastic wrap around it and opened. It had a fuzzy, pristine, white applicator; I felt a little bad that I would be ruining that shortly. I squeezed lightly but nothing came out. I squeezed a little harder but still, nada. I tried again, nearly pulverizing the darn tube, and this time it spluttered out all over, but thankfully only on, the applicator. Typical.

I looked at the over excessive glob that was just barely staying off my counter. Now. What was I supposed to do with this?..I bit my lip contemplating. Maybe I could try smothering it all over my lips? I tentatively brought the tube to my mouth and spread it as evenly as I could. It didn't work out so well. I did not understand how it was that girls, my age, and on a regular basis, got even, perfectly coated, lip-glossed lips. I couldn't even get the stupid gloss out of the tube, let alone try to get in on semi-properly.

I kept on smoothing it back a forth with my fingers , and rubbing my lips together, but it just wasn't working. My mouth was feeling quite sticky. And about five times too heavy. Hmm. But it smelled good, like.. melons. I took hold of the evil tube once more and inhaled in.

I stopped immediately. It would be just the sort of thing to happen to me if Charlie walked in on me right now, with my crazy-glossed mouth, and snorting the 'mellow-ball'.

I looked back into the mirror for the first time, and I was (once again) not surprised at all with what I saw there. Except now, instead of all my dull features looking, well, dull, I had my dull features, then bam! over-shiny, lumpily glossed lips. I looked so ridiculous it was laughable. I quickly swiped my mouth with the back of my hand, then (of course) had the time of my life trying to get the lipgloss off my hand.

I walked back into my room and started back on homework. I was proud to say I had been working dutifully on my english essay all day, after I had come back from school for the make-up test, and I was near done. I was also pretty sure I had done well on the test. I hated having to go to school on weekends. Weekends were my time. My Edward time. If he's still mine.

I sighed again, and turned back to my computer and concentrated once again, saving periodically. I've had more than a few occasions where even the wonderful wonders of 'Ctrl Z' couldn't save me. It was almost an hour later, when I was working on putting my bibliography together properly, when my phone rang. I jumped, surprised at the sudden noise in the quiet, then jumped up again rushing to the phone thinking it might be Carlisle! _Bella, I think its time to reassess your relationship with your boyfriend's father if you are that excited to hear from him.._Oh shut up, I thought back, as I grabbed the phone.

"Hello?" I asked, slightly breathless from my travels down the stairs.

"Hello, Bella, this is Carlisle." said he, "I apologize for calling so late in the day. I do realize it is nearly six o'clock." Had he now? I guess I was too concentrated on my essay to realize it had already gotten dark. I _was_ getting cold.

"So about Edward-" he continued carefully, and all my worries were back.

"Did he get run over by a red stoplight!!?" I asked frantically. I heard him chuckle. Oops. That didn't come out exactly the way I meant it too.

"No, Edward, in fact, did not get run over by a red stoplight. I wasn't actually aware there was such a possible accident." I blushed bright red, redder that the stoplight in question, and I was very grateful he couldn't see me right now, "And I'm a doctor."

"I just- worried. Edward. -Cars... and scary...uhh," I stopped myself before I could get much worse.

"It's okay Bella, I understand," he replied kindly, "I worry too. But what I was calling about was to see if it were possible for to you to come by tomorrow early afternoon to bring by those possible memory joggers?"

"Oh, yeah, sure. I'll come." I finished dumbly.

"Thanks. I guess I'll see you tomorrow." Carlisle said, then hung up. I kept the phone downstairs since I would be coming back down here to make dinner for Charlie, but went back upstairs to finish up the bibliography and the last touches on the report. I fiddled around with around with fonts on my computer for a little, before settling on my much used, and favorite font, Century Gothic. Whoever said serifs were easier to read than sans-serifs was seriously wrong. I saved it once more on my ancient computer, and on my likewise floppy disk. Then I pressed print, and went back to the kitchen to start dinner.

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Edward....

"Why don't go have some fun with Emmet and Alice ? I think they're playing Guitar Hero." Esme had said, after I had gone and found her to see what to do with the tray and dishes. I had replied with an "okay" and she had led me back down to the basement, or maybe it was the first floor?

Immediately in front of the staircase we had come down from, was a wall, and following it to the left, you were lead out to an open room. There was a big, wall size glass window, the same style and possible position as my room, and I could see outside clearly. In fact, it seemed that there was a door cut in the glass, so you could step out into the wilderness. I had wondered how that worked, for, if I had remembered correctly, the front door had been on the floor above us, and it had lead directly to the kitchen, living and dining.

Either way, with a couple chairs, a coffee table it just seemed like extra, open space. Some bookcases lined the walls, and I couldn't see the piano, but the room I had played it in earlier I could, which was appropriately tucked into the corner. Closer to me though, closer towards the staircase was the room Esme had directing me to, and I had heard Alice and Emmet playing in it. Esme had motioned for me to knock, so I had on the closed door, and their voices had called from the inside "Come in."

Which was why I was here now having a pretty good time competing with Alice and Emmet, and feeling more comfortable than I would have thought possible. I guess Guitar Hero binds all. I had been nervous to play it to begin with, and I didn't want to interrupt their heated playing session, but they invited and explained it all to me gladly.

"Go Eddie! Work it bro!!" cheered on Alice . My lips pressed into a smile that I was trying very unsuccessfully to hide from Emmet, whose ass I was currently beating and serving up on a silver platter. He was fuming. And he was very big. I didn't want to get beat up. Physically. With a big flare at end, I won with flying colors, while for Emmet a big red "FAIL" flashed across the screen.

"stupid." muttered Emmet. I couldn't help it. I laughed. Along with Alice . Loudly. He glared at both of us, "How is that even _possible_!!?? You're suppose to _suck_ at it!! I am not supposed to get owned by a _child_." He said 'child' with such condescendence, such anger, it was laughable. Alice stood up from her place curled up on the sofa, with only the screen's flashing word "FAIL" lighting her up.

"There's always next time, dear." she said a mock-motherly voice, patting his cheek, then turning to me, "You rock!! You DA MAN!! I knew you were always my favorite brother" she yelled. I laughed again, Emmet narrowed his eyes at her then at me, but his face broke out in a wide grin, when the sound was knocked out of me by the force of her launching herself at me. I wondered once again how someone so small could be so powerful. I could hear him laughing a big booming laugh.

"Guess I should be pretty proud of my little-brothie-poo,"he said in a baby voice, before it turned back to proud, "for beating the MASTER." Alice scoffed.

"Puh-lease. We all know the master is-"

"Me. Obviously," I cut in. Alice looked horrified. And menacing. Emmet backed away, grabbed the popcorn, and sat down where Alice had been previously, as if preparing for a good show.

"Ex-_cuuuse_? You? The master? _Psssh_. More like you _obviously _have _no idea_ you're talking about. Now don't let one fluky win get all up in your head! I am the _master _and, _no one_ could take that _well-earned _away from _me_," she said jabbing me in the chest with each italicized word, "Guitar Hero may not even by my specialty when it comes to video games, but I'll still _beat_ your puny butt up, spit it back out, and not even shed a tear of SWEAT!" she finished getting more and more riled up with every word. I simply smirked.

"Bring it on, pixie,"

"Oh believe me, it's _on_," she snarled, as much as someone such as Alice could snarl, then slapped the back of my head, before shoving the plastic guitar in my arms.

And she beat me. Successively. Effectively. Just like she said would. I didn't know her well, but it seemed like she was a woman of her word, so I really hadn't expected any less. For the rest off the night we played down there, then watched some movies. Esme brought down some snacks, and sandwiches, telling that was dinner for tonight, and if we needed anymore just come up and ask. She let us know Carlisle wouldn't be coming home till late, and to enjoy ourselves, but not to get too tired, or play too much. She said this looking pointedly at Alice .

"Don't worry Mom, I'll keep 'er in line. I promise." Emmet said with big eyes. Esme rolled her eyes, shut the door and left.

I fell asleep that night very tired, but satisfied, full, and maybe even a little happy. But that didn't give me any reason as to why that was first night I dreamt about Bella's horrified, pained face.

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**A/N: go review. that's all i have to say. REVIEW IT! DARN YOU!!!.. no!! i did not mean that!! i adore you, my lovely readers!!!.. and my REVIEWERS even more!! *hint hint***

**-pdah IF YOU REVIEW!!**


	6. THE PLOT THICKENS!

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Chapter 6:

**Disclaimer: **I hereby declare I have no ownership of the book or the series, that some of us may have, by chance, heard of. Twilight, anyone?

**A/N: Soo... hello! i'm back?.. in case any of you missed me :) i'm sorry it's taken me so long to update. i got in trouble with school, and had to (and still have to) study really hard to make it up. lets leave it at, unless you want to know more. this was my favorite story when i started writing it, but then i got really caught up, and loving the world of Pieces of Him, so now for SOME REASON its really hard to to get chapters out for this.. i'm glad to FINALLY get this out there though, i've had the begining of it for so long, it's nice to see it finished. with that said, I PROMISE I'M NOT GIVING UP ON THIS STORY, GOD NO, i already have the next couple chapters planned out, but i also have to start updating on my sorely neglected Pieces of him:) because *GASP!!* i only have 20 ---TWENTY!!! THE BIG TWO-O!! days left of SUMMER!!!! OH THE HORROR!!!**

**...er, so yes, read ON!!**

**WAIT ONE MORE THING!!! i drew the layout of the cullen house (to keep it organized in my head whilei write) so, i put it up online, so feel free to check it out! (just replace the 'dots' with periods :)**

**http://pinkdogsarehappy dot deviantart dot com/art/ACT-the-cullen-house-132809638**

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I woke up exhausted. All that confidence I seemingly had yesterday was now nowhere to be found. I didn't understand how life could be so unpredictable. You would think that a very enjoyable night would not result in nightmares. But that's exactly what happened. And frankly, it was quite annoying.

I rolled around in bed a little more, before trudging downstairs, as the overcast weather was not helping my situation at all. There weren't any sounds coming from the kitchen, but there was some light illuminating down the hallway, so it seemed someone else was up. I passed the kitchen counter that I had eaten at yesterday, and seeing as it was empty, I looked to the clock on the wall to see what time it was.

8:00.

That did seem early, and it was a Sunday. I turned around, and through the entrance to the living room, saw Esme sitting on the brown leather couch, reading a worn paperback, and sipping some tea.

"Morning Es- Mother," I said, quickly correcting myself. She looked up from her book, not hearing me come in.

"Morning Edward," she replied breezily, and smiled.

I stood awkwardly at the edge of the couch, unsure what to do, as there wasn't anyone else up yet besides her.

"No one else will be up for a while for a while, but I could make you something if you'd like?" she offered. I wasn't that hungry though, and I would have felt guilty interrupting her peace, so I politely declined her offer.

"Well then, you are welcome to read anything you find around, or watch TV," she pointed to the large flat-screen TV that covered a good portion of the wall, "or listen to some music, or-"

"What are you reading?" I asked, interrupting because I still wasn't quite sure of what to do, and some insight would be nice.

"Oh, just a little ol' book," I nodded, but that didn't very much help me at all. She must have noted this and said, "Some times you liked to read some poetry in the morning," and she reached over, and thumbed through the books in the bookcase next to the couch. She was mumbling something under her breath, and then said, "Aha! Here it is," and handed over a decent sized collection of poems, "There you go, why don't you sit down there on that sofa," pointing to the couch that made a disconnected right angle with the one she was currently sitting at, "and read some. Would you like something to drink? Tea?" I bit my lip. I wasn't sure.

"Do I usually drink something?" She nodded, "Red fruit tea in the morning usually, although it did change often with your mood."

"Well then red fruit tea sounds just lovely," She got up to move to make some. I sat in the armchair that she pointed out for me to sit, and lay back. It was rather comfortable. I closed my eyes, and relaxed my body.

A couple minutes later Esme was strolling back in with a tray, fruit tea, and biscuits on it. She set it on the little square coffee table in front of me.

"Thanks,"

"It's no problem,"

I leaned over to grip the cup, and as I was lowering my head to the cup, Esme warned, "Careful, it's hot," I heeded her warning, and sipped with caution, and was rewarded with no burned tongue. I was grateful.

Reading poetry was actually pretty relaxing. Memories, while helpful, weren't always too necessary to try to understand, or at least try to understand what was being said. An hour or two later, Carlisle came down stairs, greeted me and pecked Esme on the lips. I looked away, it seemed too personal. But then I got a little curious. I wondered what a kiss felt like. I wondered if I had ever kissed Bella. My face colored a little at the thought, and I quickly shoved it away; it would frighten her if she knew I had such thoughts without _really _knowing her.

Esme moved with Carlisle back into the kitchen, and I didn't follow, for I did not want to see any other displays of affection at the moment, no matter how mild. Soon Alice accompanied me in the living, and turned on the TV. Though I knew about television in theory, I never actually watched one, and it was simply fascinating. It was one thing to know how television worked, and quite another to see one in action. Soon poetry and biscuits were long forgotten.

"Once a sissy, always a sissy," a carrying voice called from behind me. I jumped, while the book fell from my lap, and turned my head around.

"Morning, Emmet," I said sarcastically, as what he said dawned on me. He grinned.

"I mean, what self-respecting man, reads," he reached down, to grab to the book and read the title, "The Oxford Book of American Poetry with tea and _biscuits_, from who knows what god forsaken hour..." He shook his head, muttering to himself. He plopped down next to where Alice was sitting.

"So I'm going to go hang out with Jasper today," when she said his name, they both looked at me quickly, before averting their eyes, as if being guilty for something. I just stared back; I had no idea. Maybe they wanted some input?

"Um, Alice, well, have fun?" I said awkwardly, it coming out more as a question, then I backtracked. I didn't even know this guy she was going to to 'hang out' with. Should I really be telling my supposed 'little sister' to be having 'fun' with him?

"Well, I don't know this Jasper, so I don't exactly know what type of 'hanging out' you'll be having, so, actually, don't have, um, too much,.. fun?" Was came out of my mouth.

_Awkward._

It was very awkward to try to seem like a protective, loving brother, when you honestly barely knew the person. I mean, what could they really expect from me? They couldn't honestly expect me to give a full on speech about my currently nonexistent love for Alice, could they?. . . And yet Alice seemed disappointed. Emmet just seemed uncomfortable. Which was something, from what I had seen of him, I would have never thought was possible.

"Well then, tell Rosie..." He said, breaking the silence, and his mouth turned into a mischievous grin, "..Never mind...it's too adult for your little innocent ears to hear..." Alice laughed, and swatted his arm.

"Hey, they're not _that _innocent… and I'll just tell her you want to do something with adult ears," He laughed.

"Who's Rosie?" I asked, and they both broke into laughter. I looked at both of them in confusion, "What?"

"It just, you never call Rosalie, 'Rosie'," Alice started.

"Hell, he doesn't even call her 'Rose', always 'Rosalie'," Emmet cut in.

"Rose is Emmet's girlfriend, and Jasper's sister," It was my turn to stare.

"You guys date the same family?.. Isn't that a little ...weird?" I asked.

"Nope," Alice said smiling, and popping the 'p'. But I could have sworn I heard Emmet say, "You don't even know the half of it..." But by then a lovely, mouthwatering scent was wafting in, and it made me realize how hungry I was. I think Alice and Emmet, definitely Emmet, felt the same way, and we all headed into the kitchen.

Esme had cooked out a full breakfast, more enough to feed a small army, and had set it on each of our plates out on the table. Carlisle was already at the head when we sat down, and Esme joined soon after washing up herself.

"Dig in now," said she, "There is plenty more," Carlisle took a sip of his coffee, before starting, so I followed his example. After that was accomplished, I looked across from me and saw Alice daintily cutting and picking at her food, before setting bite size pieces in her little mouth. I looked to my left, and saw Emmet shoving, once again, food down that entrance to the seemingly bottomless pit that was his stomach. As neither seemed quite applicable to me in my situation, I cut my food into to neat pieces, before placing a medium size bite in my mouth, and chewed slowly.

"Isn't this nice now, eating all together a nice family breakfast," continued Esme, after we all had a couple bites. Everyone nodded and smiled.

"So, Edward," Carlisle asked after we had all gotten a little down, "How do you feel?"

I didn't know if I should tell the truth, or just lie, but as he was my doctor _and _my father, lying might not be the best option.

"I'm really exhausted actually. I had a bad sleep," I left out anything about my nightmare, for that was a little personal, and nothing I thought he needed to know.

"Oh honey, that's horrible, why did you come down so early then?"

The most plausible, and truthful thing to say here would be, every time I tried to close my eyes and fall back asleep, Bella's face, which I would have welcomed into my vision on any other occasion, materialized, and had so much sorrow written on it, all because of me. I didn't know what would happen if I started telling them I had had nightmares about Bella, so I made up a different excuse.

"Um, well, once I eyes were opened, I was awake, I couldn't go back to sleep, and I really didn't want to go to sleep," I looked down as, while Esme had seemingly accepted my excuse, Alice had been watching with scrutinizing eyes, that made me feel, no, _know _that she didn't buy it for a second.

"Well, then today, would you like to just relax instead of trying those photos?" Carlisle asked kindly?

"No! I still want to, I _have _to!" Those photos were the only leads I had on regained my memory, they couldn't take them away from me because they were worried for my health; I was fine.

"Edward, calm down, no one is forcing you to do this; there isn't some deadline as to when you need you memory back, we can take our time, so there is no need to get excited,"

How wrong he was. Of _course _there was a deadline. How long could he honestly think Bella would wait for me? He was making it seem like we had forever!

"I know," I lied, "I just want to do as much as possible, as soon as possible,"

"Okay," he nodded with understanding, but Esme looked a little worried, "Well first, let's have you take a shower,--"

I cut him off, "A shower, you mean that nozzlely thing with the tube? Shoots out water right?.. Err-..what if I can't get it right?"

Carlisle nodded, "I don't think you'll have much trouble once you've started, but you should have someone be there to help, so you're comfortable, if you do have any problems,"

I watched his mouth, as they began to form the name 'Alice', and as I had never quite been at ease with her, and even more so now with her scrutinizing, "comfortable" was definitely not the word that came to mind when I thought of being completely bare, and only having water and a flimsy shower curtain to separate me from her, I directed my gaze toward Esme, and before the sound could get all the way out of Carlisle mouth, I asked, "Mother?.. Would you be willing to help me?" albeit, hesitantly. She looked delighted, but surprised, as did Carlisle with the latter, but he also appeared slightly confused. And Alice... she still had that same calculating look on her face. Even Emmet seemed surprised, but only looked up from his food for a second, before returning to it with a shrug.

"Edward, of _course _I would be willing to," she said with an affectionate smile. I returned her a small smile and a nod, looking down.

The truth was, Esme was the only one I felt I actually comfortable, or safe with, on some level. With Alice, there was definitely some tension between us now, if not also before, but I could see that she could be a lot of fun, if it _was_ just fun and games. And sure, Emmet really seemed like a nice, easy-going guy, and yes, Carlisle did seem like a good –no, great father figure, but I really didn't, just _hadn't_ connected with them.

Families were supposed be connected by love, and by that bond of knowing you were all of the same kin, but what if someone –something took away that knowledge, that feeling of kinship, effectively erasing that unconditional love? I _should _be guilty that I didn't love my family, I _should _feel guilty that I didn't feel much for them other than the fact that they were giving me a place to stay, to eat, but... I couldn't. There were so many thing I knew I _should _do, I _should _feel, but I just couldn't because, I didn't.. know. They say 'ignorance is bliss.' Who knew that you might _need_ to knowto feel.

Maybe it was in her unintrusive inclination, or maybe it was how she could show me how to do things, without myself feeling like imbecile, or maybe it was in how we could just sit quiet, and read, and she could be content, and so would I, with just, peace between us, but _somewhere_ in there, I _felt_ something for her, and even though it was smaller than it should be for any mother, smaller than it should be for any of my own family, it was _there_.

"So, after your darling mother," Carlisle smiled at her, as he continued, "helps you with your shower, would you be ready to get started looking at pictures? They can—"

"Yes, I will be ready." I was positive. I needed to start remembering.

"I'm not going to bother asking if you are sure," thank goodness for that, "because I know you are, but please, be patient with it, give it time. There is a very big chance you won't remember anything today, but that is okay because what matters is that you are trying," I nodded, barely listening; I was itching to go take that shower, and take a stab at those pictures.

When we finally finished breakfast together, (a couple minutes later) I let Esme lead me up stairs, and even though I wanted to pay attention to what she was saying, as it was about how we would do the shower, all I could hear was hot in my ears from a certain someone's eyes burning a hole through the back of my head.

"—So does that work for you? I'll go and get a bathing suit right now," we were in my room right now, and looking at me expectantly for an answer, Esme asked.

"Um. What?" I bit my lip, and quirked my eyebrow, "Sorry.."

She laughed and said, "Don't worry. Just change into that bathrobe, while I go change into clothing suitable for humidity," I nodded quickly and she left.

She was back in a couple minutes coffee-colored one-piece bathing suit, and a knee-length white wrap skirt. She looked like she was about to go vacationing in the tropics.

"So, two options. One, you get in the shower first, I turn it on, and show you how to work the shower, and you wait for those couple moments for it to heat up, and then step into the water, or two, I turn it on, you watch from outside of the tub, and we wait to together, for it to heat up, and _then _you step in. And then we get really started. So, which will it be?"

Really, it only came down to basic differences: either get naked inside the bathtub, or outside it.

"The first," because while it would have those _feeling-the-breeze-for-a-couple-moments-too-long _feeling to it, there wouldn't be and of that, 'um.. can you turn around for a moment..'

"Okay, then are we ready?" I nodded and stepped in, drawing the curtain closed behind me for a moment, and took off the bathrobe. I redrew the curtain a little to poke my head out to ask if she would take it. She came over and put it on the hook behind the door. When she came back, I left the curtain that same amount open and stepped back a couple steps, so she could reach in to the knobs.

"There isn't much too it," she began, "See this," she pointed to a little knob that was mounted on top of the bathtub faucet, "—this is the decider between whether you want a shower or a bath," then she turned the singular handle for water towards the left, towards the red. Water started flowing from the mouth, "I usually turn it on bath first before taking the shower head down—" as she did so, "—and pulling _up _on the knob," she aimed the shower head towards the ground, and with her other hand covered the knob, before looking back quickly at my face, to make sure I was ready, and counted, "One.. two.. three!" and pulled. Suddenly, the water was everywhere. Or at least it seemed so, as the sound became amplified, and I had closed my eyes on three. I cautiously opened them back up and saw Esme puttering around with the water-heat handle, every couple seconds running her hand underneath to see if it was a tolerable heat.

"Here, Edward, try this, it's not too hot, good for a nice rinse down," she kept it directed downwards, and waited for me to come a stick my hand under it.

I did.

And she was right. It was nice.

"I'm ready to take it," I said, and she handed it off carefully, "I'll be right here, sitting on your toilet—" and then she laughed, "that certainly is a comforting image, isn't it?.."

I smiled, and heard her taking her temporary residence on my toilet. Staring at the head, I aimed it back at my warmed hand, then trailed it up my arms. It felt like an invisible blanket of warmth, heating so much more quickly and effectively.. but fleeting, needing repetitive tending to.

"Wow, it feels great,.." I said sighing.

"It _does, _doesn't it?" I nodded smiled, forgetting she couldn't see me. Since the rest of my body was covered, I decided to go for my head, but I didn't know how exactly to go about it. Maybe if I tilted head back, and brought the showerhead up from behind, and then aimed at my forehead, I would be okay.

I successfully completed my mission, but I wasn't expecting to feel so awake after those simple actions, and although all this rinsing and relaxing and awakening was quite nice, I needed to get on with the festivities, get on to the actually _washing,_ so I consulted Esme.

"Esme? I finished rinsing all over, except my face—"

"—And your hair?" she cut in.

"My hair also, and so what should I do next?"

"Hanging beneath the shower head holder, on a little shelf, do you see a little green bottle?" I spotted it, and took it in my hands. Mint extract shampoo.. hmm, this should be interesting.., "Well fill your palm a little with the shampoo, and rub together, like I showed you with the lotion, but instead of applying to your face, bring them to your scalp and massage."

I put the showerhead in its' holder, and did as she said, surprisingly, well, to me at least, needing no other direction than that. It was like with the piano, and the toothpaste; a little instruction goes a long way. I started massaging my head, and for a couple moments there, I felt suffocated. I was just immersed in the strong mint and slight menthol scent to in it, it was all I could hear, smell, feel; I even had to close my eyes for fear that it would burn my eyes. It wasn't that it was an unpleasant smell; rather it was quite nice, but so strong.

That slight suffocation went away as soon as it came though, and I resumed in my massaging. I moved my hands back and forth, as if scratching all over my head, but using my fingertips instead of nails, then went to rotating in clockwise circles, then counter clockwise. I could feel the shampoo really starting to working, and it was a tingling feeling, like a million little mint scented goose bumps on my head. So pleasant though, that I didn't notice that something was seeping down my forehead, a something that felt different than water, a little lighter, but much less liquid-like. I found out soon enough what it was… and what it did when it got into your eyes.

"Ow! Oh god, it burns!! Esme!!" I cried out. It was a good thing I wasn't holding the showerhead because I was sure I would have dropped it. I heard her jump up, and leap to the bathtub, and I couldn't care less that she nearly ripped the shower curtain in her worriment, and in my pain.

"What's the matter?!" her head swung to the showerhead, "Did it get too hot?" she asked, as she ran her hand quickly under it a couple times.

"No, no, it's –it's my _eye. _Something got into it, I t-think soap... and it _hurts_!" even though my hands were _shampoo_ covered, I covered the wounded eye with one, and looked at her helplessly with the other, "Can you make it stop?" I whimpered out, because now my eyes were tearing.

"Oh, Edward, yes, I can. Here, rinse your hands first," I quickly did as she said, "and what we need to do is rinse your eye out, so either stare straight into the showerhead—" I moved to do so, but she stopped me for a moment, "Or cup your hand like this," she put he pinky ends of her palms together, and curved them, "It'll hurt less, if you do it this way," I nodded quickly, "And fill the cup with water and bring you hands to you eye, or splash it," she got out hurriedly.

I needed to get the hurt _out, _so I went with the splashing. The hot water hitting my eye almost as much as the soap, and I was glad she stopped me from going with the first option. With about ten splashes, the sting of the soap seemed to be less, but now my eyes felt really dry. I finally looked back at Esme, now blushing as I realized I was naked, shampoo still in my hair, and that I had most likely acted erratically in my craze for eradicating the pain. She only smiled, and said, "Stay here," –as if I could go anywhere like this– "I'll go get something for your eyes. They feel dry right?" I nodded. I heard her go over to the sink, and open something, maybe the cabinet underneath, some rummaging between bottles and items, before she came back.

In her hands was a bottle of 'ReNu Multiplus,' I didn't know what it was, so I took it in mine, to inspect it. It said it was a solution that "moisturizes, removes protein, cleans, disinfects, lubricates, rinses, and stores." I got the feeling it was more than a simple eyedropper, and then I saw on a little green tab "Fresh Lens Comfort." I looked up at Esme, "I wear contacts?"

She shook her head, "No, you have perfect vision, you just like it better than regular eye droppers since it doesn't sting, and it has no smell. Go on, try it, then when can finish up this showering business," She smiled encouragingly, so I tried it. I have got to say it did indeed feel nice. Refreshing, and 'Fresh' indeed. I smiled at her.

"All better?" She asked.

""Yeah, thanks," I nodded my gratitude, but turned my head down. She stepped back, bringing her frame out of the shower area. I began to, finally, rinse out the shampoo from my hair. I noticed the prolonged sitting in my hair made it even more enjoyable to rinse out. I was surprised at how cold it felt initially as the water hit my scalp. I shivered; it felt the water piping had hit a glitch, and momentarily turned the water down more than a couple degrees. But my hand was there too, raking through my hair, and it didn't feel cold at all, so I knew that wasn't the case at all. And the scent of the shampoo was lovely, filling the air around me, this time not suffocating at all.

"Esme, I just finished rinsing out the shampoo, what's next?"

"Scrub time, that's what's next," she said playfully, and I could hear a smile in hear voice. "See those two loofahs? Take one and spread some soap around on it, and once it has a nice lather, put it to your skin, and scrub in circles, or back and forth, or whatever suits your fancy. Oh, and the light peach-brown one is a rougher, and the blue one is softer. Just take your pick," she instructed.

I decided to go with the harder because who knew when the last time I took a bath was, most likely at the hospitable, but it was a slightly unpleasant thought, being washed by strangers while unconscious, so I pushed from my thoughts as I did what Esme said. I started with my left arm, scrubbing upwards, underneath, on the side, until I deemed that arm clean, and rinsed. It was a satisfying sensation; it felt like I was scratching myself, but somehow in a healthier way. It went like this for the rest of my body, with no surprises getting in my way, thankfully; no hidden cuts for the soap to get into, no banging my head on the showerhead, just smooth sailing from there.

When I was rinsing my final rinse, I realized how grateful I should be of Esme, leading me through anything I might need help with, without batting an eyelash, and what's more is that she could make me feel, _comfortable_ while doing it.

"Esme?.." I asked, one last time.

"Yes?"

"Just.. thank you for helping me, with.. everything. It means a lot," I finished quietly.

"Honey, it's no problem; I'm glad I could help," she replied softly.

As I was turning the water off, a couple moments later, she said, "I'll leave two towels on the on the toilet where I was sitting, okay?" and left.

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Someone knocked on my door right after I had gotten out of the shower, when I finished drying my self off. I wrapped the bigger of the two towels around my waist, but it was my chest that was tight with apprehension, as I answered nonchanlantly.

"Hold on, I'm changing," I went into my closet, and briefly contemplated taking my time in here, but decided there was no use delaying the inevitable, and that there was that slight chance that it wasn't Alice after all. I picked out some khaki's and threw on a gray shirt, making sure to keep my face blank when I answered the door, sticking my head out a little.

It was Alice.

"Hey Edward, I need to talk to you about something," she said in a serious tone letting me know that she here to help along that apprehension. I opened the door just a fraction more, not an invitation, merely an acceptance of that fact that she needed to talk. I was a little unsure where this was going, and I was pretty nervous that there wasn't anyone here to change the subject or for me to direct my attention to. It was just me, and her.

I sat down at the end of my bed, and motioned for her to do the same; while I might not be looking forward to whatever would come, I could at least, try to be somewhat polite. She opened her mouth, and I braced myself.

"Why did you lie to Carlisle?" and then I gaped. She sure didn't waste time cutting to the chase.

"W-what?" I asked, a little flustered.

"Why did you lie to Carlisle?" she repeated calmly.

"What are you talking about?" She couldn't know what she was talking about...

"When Carlisle asked how you were feeling."

"I didn't lie; I _am _exhausted," I defended.

"I don't doubt that, I can see it," she said reaching up to the purple shadows underneath my eyes, and I would have thought it would have made me feel uneasy, but it didn't... It might have actually felt.. nice, "I just don't believe the why," and those nice feelings went right out the window, as that big nose subtly started poking in my business.

"Well, then, that happens to be your problem," I answered in a clipped tone, and smiled tightly. She laughed, and even though it sounded hard, I didn't understand why.

"Edward, it's not _my _problem at all, it doesn't effect me if you lie, but _oh_, it could hurt you a lot, and stunt your regaining of memory,"

"_Why_ do you think I was lying," I asked, with my intent of being acceptably polite joining those nice feelings, while I massaged the bridge of my nose, and put it on like she was trying my patience, which she was, and as if she were crazy, (which she might be) but mainly, underneath it all, I was scared.

"You said, 'when you opened your eyes, you were awake, you just couldn't go back to sleep',"

"So?" I asked, gesturing exaperatedly with my hand for her to move on.

"_So_," she countered, "that's never been your thing. _Emmet's _always been the one with eye-opening complex. You've always been the type to be able to get up exactly when you need to, or fall back asleep when you want, or get up earlier when needed. Never late, and never earlier than you want to wake up," I was surprised at how much she knew about me, and then a little bitter; she probably had told me more about myself in those two sentences than I had learned in these past three days.

"Well, amnesia does strange things to you." I replied curtly.

"That might be true in other cases but it's not here." she pressed on, staring straight through me. It was more than a little unsettling.

"Why do you even care so much?" I questioned, shaking my head.

"Because you're my brother! I can't stand seeing you hurting yourself like this!"

"Well, you _shouldn't._" I stated each thing as a matter of fact, and glaring at her, "You aren't my sister. I don't know you. I don't care about you," Her face changed then, less defiant, a lot more small. She looked like I had just slapped her. Her mouth opened a little, and her breath came out in a small _whoosh._

"Sorry I'm such an _inconvenience_ to you," she said with her eyes watering as she fled from the room. I felt a little bad, but it was the truth, and I just didn't like people trying to pry their way in to my business. There was something telling me I should feel ashamed of myself for being so rude to Alice, her especially, but I couldn't summon the emotion of regret to come forward. Alice had been a little too intrusive, and intuitive for my taste, and this was just a small breaking point for me. I just couldn't handle her prying eyes.

* * *

**A/N: soo... thoughts? want to yell at me for my disappearance? want to say how awkward that was? haha, ahh.. now let me tell you EDWARD'S SHOWER EXPERIENCE WAS NECESSARY!! i mean, wouldn't you say taking a shower is a big experience? it can wake you up , calm you, relax you, so i couldn't just say, "After breakfast, I took a shower then after Esme left, there was a knock on the.." BECAUSE it's not just any experience you can just glide over! i had to do it! hope ya'll understand :) **

_pdah_


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